"Give me ten days, and I can give you ten reasons not to die." Evan paused. "And if I can't change your mind by then, you can go jump off that cliff."

"You're an asshole," I blurted. "You're such an asshole that your actual asshole is jealous." Silence. What the hell did I just say? Out of all the insults, I choose one that makes the least sense? Damn it, why couldn't I just have been born normal... Wait, never mind. Psh, screw sanity. "Can we keep her?" Tyler suddenly says, bouncing on his tippy toes. "Please, Keith? Can we keep her? Huh, huh, huh?" What am I, a pet? "Keith" whipped his head towards Tyler so fast I could've sworn I heard a crack. "Keep her?" he echoed. "No, Tyler, we can not keep her." Thank you. "She's utterly useless to us, and you want to keep her?" I gasped, placing a hand over my chest. Useless? Damn, these people are rude as hell. "But," Tyler whined, walking over to me. I tensed all over when he squished my cheeks together. "Look at how adorable she is. She's just so innocent... you'd never suspect anything bad from her." Keith expression changed, to one I knew very well from my experiences with Val. Lightbulb. "Tyler, you are a genius," Keith says. Tyler's hands stop squishing my cheeks. "I am?" "He is?!" everyone else says. Keith doesn't reply, just keeps on grinning wickedly. And suddenly I have a feeling that I am not gonna make it out of here alive. - WARNING: VERY CRINGE WORTHY MATERIAL NOW AVAILABLE TO PURCHASE http://www.lulu.com/shop/angel-zenith/the-gangleader-kidnapped-me/paperback/product-23087208.html Highest Rank: #1 in Humor April 19, 2015 CoAuthor: DreamCreature

(UNDER EDITING) Highest Ranking: #1 in fanfiction ❍●❍●❍●❍●❍●❍●❍●❍●❍●❍●❍●❍● "I see you've met my princess. Cute thing, isn't she?" - Joker (REQUESTS CLOSED) •°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•° Book Cover By: Dropthatmotherfucker •°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•° No reposts or translations. Thanks

No spoilers...at least... not yet. *laughs like a maniac* ... ... ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, NO MORE PUNS. JUST STOP HITTING ME, KRIS. *sighs deeply* Alright, readers. This is a stupid book written on a stupid girl wearing a stupid hat living in a stupid house with ANOTHER stup- *looks at Kris and gulps* INTELLIGENT girl who has a stupid boyfriend who has a- Kris: *pushes her aside* That's fucking it. I'm taking over now. This story is about Alex, a Star Wars geek, who has the AWESOMEST best friend/roommate *flips hair* This is not even a proper book yet. It's just the author's random(yet hilarious) ramblings. Don't like it? Don't read it. If you ask ME, she should have written it on someone else. The awesome roommate, for instance. *glares at author* Author: Er, thanks, Kris. *turns to reader* I hope you like it and please don't leave any mean comments!..at least not yet. Kris: *Beats her to death.* Author: don't kill me...at least not yet.