---PREVIEW--- After I was dropped off at home from rehearsal, I could finally just sit alone and cry. As soon as I walked in the door, I ran downstairs, locked myself in the bathroom, sat down, and started sobbing uncontrollably. Normally I felt okay after a good cry, but it just didn't feel like it was enough anymore. I ran into my room and began frantically searching for my new package of little pencil sharpeners. When I finally found it, I ripped a green one out of the package and then grabbed a screwdriver and ran back into the bathroom. I began chipping off the sides of the pencil sharpener and digging out the plastic that was holding the blade. When i had dug deep enough, I shoved the screwdriver under the blade, and kept pushing on it until the blade finally popped out. I took the screw out of the blade. I put the blade right to my wrist. And without a second thought, I started repeatedly sliding the blade into my wrist, digging deeper each time. The sight of the blood flowing out of my wrist made me feel even worse about it. But for those few moments while the pain took over me, I forgot all about the events of the day that had led up to this. And that's all that really mattered to me.