The Princess and the Pea is so overrated. My not so majestic tale begins with a pea, only it doesn't determine my royalty. No, it determines the pathetic strength of my step-sister straight out of Cinderella. It determines my patience which snaps and wins me a one-way ticket out of the Palace of Hell and into the cozy cottage of a sweet old couple along with their mysterious handsome son who is supposed to be my Prince Charming. Only he's not really a prince and is far from charming and fights for money. Only I'm far from being a graceful majestic smiling princess. Only the love part is nothing whatever the hell they prepared you for in the fairytales. This is my royal psychotic adventure with a cynical boy and of course lots of icky green peas.

Picture this: You enter the mall with your friends. As you're making your way to buy a strawberry smoothie, you notice something more delicious walking right towards you. As he comes closer, he gives you a heart stopping smirk then takes you by surprise. He pulls you into a headlock, jabs a gun in your temple, then runs away with you. As I uncover why this mysterious model kidnapped me, I find myself tackling, punching, hugging, and watching Disney movies with him. Call me reckless, but something about this troubled kidnapper is quite intriguing yet heartbreaking. Find out if I, Skylar Scrowbar, end up dead in a ditch somewhere, or end up helplessly falling in love with my sexy kidnapper.

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