Ah, Bethesda. What a great company, no? From Elder Scrolls' Skyrim to the Commonwealth of Fallout 4, here is a joke book compiled of jokes that only the true players would understand. Please enjoy!

(THIS IS AN UNEDITED, ABRIDGED VERSION OF PHANTOM ASSASSIN, WRITTEN IN 2015. PLEASE REFER TO THE 2022 VERSION FOR A MORE COMPLETE, REVISED, AND CLEAN STORY) Phantom is a foundation dedicated to infamous assassins. It was created to wipe out threats. Trace is a high-ranking, merciless weapon. He doesn't know quite what's happening most of the time, but as an assassin, his mission is always to kill someone. It should have just been another mission. Another pawn to get rid of. But he didn't expect to find his true destiny hiding farther beyond. © COPYRIGHT 2015 Support this novel for further enjoyment!

It's human nature to hold onto the past ; those painful memories are what define us as people or at least try to. The past has a tendency to linger in the back of our minds, provoked by the slightest trigger. Lukas knew this better than anyone. Fourteen years of silence is broken by a revelation that shatters his world and everything he had come to believe in ; someone has a lot of explaining to do.

❝Funny. I've never thought the helpless prisoner beside me would be the fearsome Dragonborn, the new Keeper is a mad jester that will betray us all, and the soldiers are the bad guys. I guess this is how everything unexpectedly changes.❞ The Nightshade Assassin holds a ruthless persona to her enemies and exposes a light-hearted, obnoxious sister to her family: The Dark Brotherhood. She doesn't want anything to change in this happy family, but when the prisoner back in Helgen steals her kill of Grelod the Kind, she might as well enjoy the changes coming to her. But sometimes, they aren't for the best. (The story is 35 chapters not including the extras) Sequel - http://w.tt/1NYbSf5 Extras/Oneshots - http://w.tt/1LhLm1p