"Your resume says your main achievement is... finishing a rubber before losing it because you are awesome." "Yep!" "Your personality type says you are... sassy, hot and cool (more than anyone here) at the same time because you are awesome? That's a challenge." He smirked as he raised his perfect eyebrow. I nodded dumbly. And then I heard him mumbling," Never knew a Smurfs' T shirt was that hot with red pants..." "Your special education says... you were in Hogwarts?" His eyes opened wide. "Yo!" "And your interests says you want to go home and watch Ironman because you didn't want to apply for this job anyway and you are forced..." "You got me right boy!" I pointed at him with my finger. But then he said the three words I never expected to hear. "You're hired, hobo."

"You're an asshole," I blurted. "You're such an asshole that your actual asshole is jealous." Silence. What the hell did I just say? Out of all the insults, I choose one that makes the least sense? Damn it, why couldn't I just have been born normal... Wait, never mind. Psh, screw sanity. "Can we keep her?" Tyler suddenly says, bouncing on his tippy toes. "Please, Keith? Can we keep her? Huh, huh, huh?" What am I, a pet? "Keith" whipped his head towards Tyler so fast I could've sworn I heard a crack. "Keep her?" he echoed. "No, Tyler, we can not keep her." Thank you. "She's utterly useless to us, and you want to keep her?" I gasped, placing a hand over my chest. Useless? Damn, these people are rude as hell. "But," Tyler whined, walking over to me. I tensed all over when he squished my cheeks together. "Look at how adorable she is. She's just so innocent... you'd never suspect anything bad from her." Keith expression changed, to one I knew very well from my experiences with Val. Lightbulb. "Tyler, you are a genius," Keith says. Tyler's hands stop squishing my cheeks. "I am?" "He is?!" everyone else says. Keith doesn't reply, just keeps on grinning wickedly. And suddenly I have a feeling that I am not gonna make it out of here alive. - WARNING: VERY CRINGE WORTHY MATERIAL NOW AVAILABLE TO PURCHASE http://www.lulu.com/shop/angel-zenith/the-gangleader-kidnapped-me/paperback/product-23087208.html Highest Rank: #1 in Humor April 19, 2015 CoAuthor: DreamCreature

If you're judging this book by its cover and title, you're already proving the point this story wants to make. Try to move past this satirical obstacle in front of you. This is a story about bullying, and like the hundreds of other books on the topic, it will show you the harsh reality of being discriminated, belittled, ridiculed for something you cannot control- how you look, who you love, or what you believe in. But unlike these books, this story's sole purpose is not to tear your heart out of your chest as you mourn over your loss of faith in humanity. Instead, this book will make you laugh and love alongside these characters. Just like in life, there will be moments of dread and surrender, but there will also be moments of happiness, laughter, and love. - Naomi Lorraine, better known as Nerdy Naomi with her thick-rimmed glasses and straight-A report card, is the most unpopular girl in her school. Even with the help of her sarcastic comebacks, that doesn't stop her from getting bullied by everyone in Dartwell High. Every day her childhood bully, Raymond Meyers, knocks her off her feet, literally. However, she can't do anything but survive the laughs, insults, and bruises high school gives her. There are three senior transfer students, dubbed the Three Musketeers: Bennett Frazier, Jordan Wallace, and Declan Lynch. All in one day, Naomi catches their attention one by one. With her snarky attitude, but innocent look, they can't help but want her. But not the way you're thinking. Oh no, not like that. Instead, it's probably the whole opposite. It's quite simple really. She'll be their good girl. And they'll be her bad boys. ~ [This story is a first draft written by a 13 to 15-year-old girl so it has its fair share of grammar mistakes and plot holes.] Wattys 2015 Talk of the Town Award Second Place Story of 2015 Best Humor and Overall Points of The Fiction Awards 2016 Third in the Writers Awards 2016 Highest Ranks: #1 Humor, #1 Teen Fiction