When a semi-sentient starship loses its crew it must find a new one quickly. The nearest planet with intelligence is a small blue globe third out from its parent star. The ship, intelligence fading, kidnaps five humans from the mountains of the Appalachians and re-enters civilization. Unfortunately, said humans are questionably sentient and might not be the best ambassadors Earth could possibly have. When they are through nothing in the galaxy will be quite the same.

PERSONAL ASSISTANT NEEDED. People skills optional. Ability to take drink orders preferred. Personal mode of transport a MUST. To Reply, Contact Dr. M's home office: 1-555-TRBLE-4-U (Idiots and those prone to knock-knock jokes need not apply.) ◎ ◎ ◎ Nobody in their right mind would respond to a help wanted listing so vague. Enter, Robin Banks. The wacky exploits of a narcoleptic super villain and his reluctant sidekick. [COMPLETED FIRST DRAFT - #22 in Humor on 4/12/15]

If you're judging this book by its cover and title, you're already proving the point this story wants to make. Try to move past this satirical obstacle in front of you. This is a story about bullying, and like the hundreds of other books on the topic, it will show you the harsh reality of being discriminated, belittled, ridiculed for something you cannot control- how you look, who you love, or what you believe in. But unlike these books, this story's sole purpose is not to tear your heart out of your chest as you mourn over your loss of faith in humanity. Instead, this book will make you laugh and love alongside these characters. Just like in life, there will be moments of dread and surrender, but there will also be moments of happiness, laughter, and love. - Naomi Lorraine, better known as Nerdy Naomi with her thick-rimmed glasses and straight-A report card, is the most unpopular girl in her school. Even with the help of her sarcastic comebacks, that doesn't stop her from getting bullied by everyone in Dartwell High. Every day her childhood bully, Raymond Meyers, knocks her off her feet, literally. However, she can't do anything but survive the laughs, insults, and bruises high school gives her. There are three senior transfer students, dubbed the Three Musketeers: Bennett Frazier, Jordan Wallace, and Declan Lynch. All in one day, Naomi catches their attention one by one. With her snarky attitude, but innocent look, they can't help but want her. But not the way you're thinking. Oh no, not like that. Instead, it's probably the whole opposite. It's quite simple really. She'll be their good girl. And they'll be her bad boys. ~ [This story is a first draft written by a 13 to 15-year-old girl so it has its fair share of grammar mistakes and plot holes.] Wattys 2015 Talk of the Town Award Second Place Story of 2015 Best Humor and Overall Points of The Fiction Awards 2016 Third in the Writers Awards 2016 Highest Ranks: #1 Humor, #1 Teen Fiction

Casual Friday is the story of hit man John Lago’s very first assignment as a recruit with Human Resources, Inc., a placement agency that sends assassins, disguised as interns, to take out high-level targets under cover of corporate invisibility. John will go on to become the most successful “intern” in HR’s history. You can read more about his career in The Intern’s Handbook

Going down ... way down. Trying to have a transcendental experience, sixteen-year-old Ann is shocked at the sudden appearance of a dirty moleman from the underworld. Through a stirring object lesson involving a half-eaten Ho Ho (and a bit of trickery), the moleman persuades Ann to follow him to an underground fantasy world. Enter the wacky world of Molemania. The stinky metropolitan city Ann discovers, fueled by stolen power and dominated by American television, turns out to be less than fantastic. She longs to see the light of day again, but the slimy Prince Duthbert (who organized Ann’s kidnapping) won’t keep his claws off her. The plot thickens when Duthbert captures the boy Ann loves and threatens to cast him into a pit full of lava. Either Ann must consent to marry Duthbert or take on the powers of the deep. Follow Ann through the crazy twists and turns of the underworld as she teams up with German bodybuilders, a mystical sage, and an old queen who writes techno music. Discover deadly infernos, giant monsters, and the secrets at the bottom of the earth, where not even molepeople have set foot. "Stephen Gashler has written a fun and entertaining book that will provide hours of enjoyment and become a fan favorite.” – Meridian Magazine “Stephen Gashler has excellent comedic timing” – Larisa Hicken, Front Row Reviewers Utah “Stephen Gashler has a gift for capturing the imagination of audiences of all ages” – Rich Thurman, Director, Utah Renaissance Faire “Stephen Gashler’s stories are memorable and abound with energy. The wit in his writing makes you wonder what’s coming next!” – Carla Morris, Children’s Services Manager, Provo Library