"You're an asshole," I blurted. "You're such an asshole that your actual asshole is jealous." Silence. What the hell did I just say? Out of all the insults, I choose one that makes the least sense? Damn it, why couldn't I just have been born normal... Wait, never mind. Psh, screw sanity. "Can we keep her?" Tyler suddenly says, bouncing on his tippy toes. "Please, Keith? Can we keep her? Huh, huh, huh?" What am I, a pet? "Keith" whipped his head towards Tyler so fast I could've sworn I heard a crack. "Keep her?" he echoed. "No, Tyler, we can not keep her." Thank you. "She's utterly useless to us, and you want to keep her?" I gasped, placing a hand over my chest. Useless? Damn, these people are rude as hell. "But," Tyler whined, walking over to me. I tensed all over when he squished my cheeks together. "Look at how adorable she is. She's just so innocent... you'd never suspect anything bad from her." Keith expression changed, to one I knew very well from my experiences with Val. Lightbulb. "Tyler, you are a genius," Keith says. Tyler's hands stop squishing my cheeks. "I am?" "He is?!" everyone else says. Keith doesn't reply, just keeps on grinning wickedly. And suddenly I have a feeling that I am not gonna make it out of here alive. - WARNING: VERY CRINGE WORTHY MATERIAL NOW AVAILABLE TO PURCHASE http://www.lulu.com/shop/angel-zenith/the-gangleader-kidnapped-me/paperback/product-23087208.html Highest Rank: #1 in Humor April 19, 2015 CoAuthor: DreamCreature

"Ignore their stares, they do nothing but remind you that you are alive." When Alexandra Knight was offered a rare scholarship to attend the most prestigious boarding school in Europe, she didn't have to think twice before accepting it. It doesn't take long for her schoolmates to notice that she is different from them, and Alexandra quickly becomes the centre of attention when she runs, quite literally, into the most popular boy in school- just not in a good way. • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • THE ROYALS SERIES, pt.1 Copyrighted.

When Sienna finds out her long-term boyfriend has been cheating on her with her sister, she devises an elaborate revenge plot to take him down by training his drop-dead gorgeous rival in the fighting ring. But a sizzling, passionate affair wasn't part of the plan... ****** Sienna Lane has finally got her life where she wants it to be. A steady job at the local gym? Check. An awesome sister as a roommate? Check. A perfect boyfriend who adores and loves her? Check. That is until she discovers that her boyfriend has been cheating on her with her very own sister. Talk about humiliating. Without wasting any time, Sienna devises a plan to take her ex-boyfriend down in the underground fighting ring by training his arch-nemesis, Kayden Williams, to go against him in the biggest match of the season. But soon, Sienna and Kayden's sessions lead to a burning passion that cannot be denied. It's electric; some would even say it's addictive. But will their feelings get in the way of Sienna's revenge? ****** **PERFECT ADDICTION IS NOW A FILM - OUT ON PRIME VIDEO FOR MOST COUNTRIES ON MARCH 24** Perfect Addiction is published as a Paperback and E-book by Wattpad Books. As a Wattpad reader, you can access both the Wattpad Original Edition and Wattpad Books Published Edition here upon purchase. [Watty's Choice Award Winner '15] [[word count: 100,000-150,000 words]] Cover designed by Ren Tachibana

Perfect Illusion is the FIRST book in the Perfect series, followed by the soon-to-be released film PERFECT ADDICTION. Published as an ebook/ on kindle ***** When college student Alex Woods agrees to a fake engagement plot to save her parents' company from bankruptcy, the last thing she expects is to fall for the illusion herself. ***** Alex Woods thinks college will be a fresh start, but when her parents announce their business has gone bankrupt, all of her plans come crashing down. The company has been saved by a wealthy business owner, but it comes with a condition: Alex has to pretend to be engaged to his son, Daniel, for the next 3 years. Daniel Kerrington is 100% swoonworthy, but Alex knows that beneath those killer good looks is a poisonous personality, and Daniel has made it clear the hatred is mutual. Though they've been thrown together with the person they each loathe the most, Alex and Daniel have to make their engagement believable. And as it turns out, the line between love and hate really is very, very thin. [[word count: 100,000 - 150,000]] Cover designed by Ren T Book 1 of the Perfect series

After battling with a life threatening disease, Stephanie finally got the all clear on her health. She was free to live her life. She is starting a new school at the start of the year, planning to just finish high school with no problems. But then a certain asshole and his friends come barging into her life and she is thrown into a world of chaos. *Added to @humour's 'Young.Dumb.Full Of Fun!' reading list 8/8/2018* * Reached #1 on Humor's official hot list 1/1/2020*

"You'll do anything will you?" Keeley smirks, a mischievous glint lighting up her brown eyes. "I dare you, Jade Elsie Brooke, to break into Trystan Woods house and steal a pair of his boxers without him finding out." Jade Brooke was the dare devil who had never turned down a dare, no matter how bad it was. So when a simple game of truth of dare ends up flipping her life upside down in the form of a dare, she has no one to blame but herself. Trystan Woods was the boy out of reach for most, who stood at the top of the high school food chain. Everyone loves him, and he was the football team captain. Jade had never interacted with him, until the day she was dared to break into his house and steal his underwear. The only flaw in the plan? When he catches her in his room holding his boxers. || Humour #1 || // this story is in major need of editing and sucks quite badly so read at your own risk you have been warned \\

"You and I both know that any girl would kill to be in your position, with me, right now." He smirks, knowing that what he's said is completely and utterly true. Lea Wilson and River Parker don't mix; they don't like the same things, their lives are majorly different. But, what if these two people who are least expected to spend time with each other are doing exactly that? And, not only at school but at home as well. After Lea's house falls apart due to a termite infestation, the Wilson's are invited to stay at an old family friend's mansion of a house. The family friend also happens to be River's father. I'll give you time to digest that information. Yes, you're right. The sarcastic nerd and the egotistical heart-throb live under the same roof and encounter a series of events that make the two do something they didn't think would happen. They grow closer, and closer, and closer, until...well, you'll have to find that out for yourself. Follow them through their adventures of falling in love, getting their hearts broken, and learning lessons that explain there is more to life than they have ever imagined. WARNING(S): Strong Language & Mild Sexual Imagery. UNCOMPLETE. EDITING. ◊ The book trailer to the side is made by @starsandsky ◊ The book cover is made by @LightningStorms

Christian Ryder may be seen as a heartthrob by the majority of the world's female population, but to Sophia Hastings, he might as well be the newest addition to her hometown's local zoo. Sophia is a young, aspiring actress with big dreams who swears having to work with Christian Ryder wouldn't be worth all the fame in the world. Christian is a cocky womanizer whose world is turned upside down when he realizes his new leading lady just so happens to openly hate his guts. Is it even possible for Christian and Sophia to learn to get along long enough to make a movie, or will hatred, scandal and childish games destroy their careers? *** My eyes widened and I randomly exclaimed, "Oh, my God!" "What?" "Christian, thanks to you, I now understand what people mean when they say you're dark and handsome!" Christian looked smug. "I knew you would eventually." "They mean that when it's dark, you're handsome!" The smug look on his face disappeared. "I hate you." *** Contains some spoilers to Kidnap My Heart.

Hannah Taylors finally gives in to her desperation and does one of the stupidest things a girl can do to grab her unapproachable long-time crush Jonah Gibbs' attention: spill soda on his white shirt and leave a motherfrigging red blotch on it. Accidentally... on purpose.