(Working title) Good morrow my child. This is a sexy gay love story about Piers Morgan, David Hasselhoff and Donald Trump. We talk you through how the three met and how their relationship took a naughty turn. Prepare your body.

Here are some text messages between the two birch trees who run this account. There are many inside jokes, but if you can tell what is going on then you get a prize. However you have to go and buy it yourself and also choose what prize you get.

Good morrow my child. This is an introduction to the character known as Spiky Nobbles. He is a republican elf and a cowboy enthusiast from Texas. You can find him on Twitter @Spikysans_e. Thanking you, 'E'.