"This is Westerden Optometrist. What are your symptoms?" "For starters, my eyesight has been super blurry and distorted, and this problem is starting to screw up seventeen-year-old life. Speaking of which, you sound kind of young for an optometrist. How old are you?" "Um, I don't think it'd be the greatest idea for th...
❝hi this is Panda Express, how may I help you?❞ ❝can i have one order of general tso's chicken? hold the chicken, double the vegetables.❞ ❝how in the world is that general tso's chicken?❞ ☂ lowercase intended. story inspired by many others. ☂ -- just a pinch of love #1 -- #339 in humor 1/2/15
Growing up in a large, middle-class (if not lower) family had its challenges. More than I can account for actually. I had five older sisters and two older brothers. Throw me into the mix and that's a grand total of eight children living under one roof. If my mom hadn't stopped with yours truly, we would have definitel...
on hold due to lack of inspiration ::: She saw the ice cream truck pass through her neighborhood nearly every day in the summer. Every day, she got her favorite ice cream, mint chocolate chip. Her routine suddenly got changed when the ice cream truck stopped coming for a month. When it finally came back, it had a ne...
[a story] in which an ailing girl checks off everything on her bucket list with a little help from her weirdly attractive neighbor. [spiritual #8 // short story #41] WARNING: this shit is cheesy as hell i wanna gouge my eyes out
[Highest ranking yet: #1 in Short Story] "Siri, if you were a person, what would you look like?" Does my appearance matter to you? "...."
❝You can't cling to the past. Because no matter how tightly you hold on, it's already gone.❞
"Lets make a deal." "Sure, what is it?" "We talk with only what we have on our clipboard." "Deal." •~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~• Cover made by: @Chatachino Highest Rank: [1] in Short Story [ WARNING! I made this when i was 13/14 years old. There is many misspelled words and stuff that I literally cringe at. So read at your own...
[sequel to teen helpline] ❝Hello, this is the Breakup Helpline, designed and manufactured to cater to your brokenhearted needs. How may I help you?❞ ❝My girlfriend...just cheated on me. With my best friend.❞ ❝Um..uh, hold on...oh, fuck! There's nothing on how to respond to that in these answer sheets!❞ ...
❝Hello there, this is Teen Confessions Helpline, what's the problem? Feel free to confess anything you like and we'll be there to help you every step of the way!❞ ❝I know this is heavy but I've been feeling like I kind of...want to kill myself.❞ When Damien Carson, a depressed lonely teenager, call...
"Hello?" "Um, hey?" "Wait, you don't sound like my Aunt Kathy." "Unless I was miraculously converted into a member of the opposite gender and somehow related to whoever is on the other side of this call, then yeah. I'm not your Aunt Kathy." "Oh, shiitake mushrooms." ...
[You can now purchase 100 Voicemails' paperback on Amazon!] After a car accident, seventeen year old Steve Carlton, goes into a coma. When he does wake up after a few months, he suffers from temporary memory loss. During this time, he starts to go through his messages and voicemails on his cellphone, trying to get a...