In the fall of 2007, a quirky, sensitive girl named Hannah had a crush on an insensitive jerk. And I was her father. In the summer of 1984, a quirky, sensitive girl named Emily had a crush on an insensitive jerk. And I was that jerk. Loosely based on a true story (well, several, actually) "The Idiot Who Ran Into A Tree" is a comedic, bittersweet tale of parenting, teen angst, summer camp and a quarrelsome oak. All the names have been changed. The nicknames, however, have stayed the same.

*****WATTYS 2015 WINNER!***** WATTPAD STAFF PICK (9/7/15) In the end, the robots win. But you already knew that. "Everyone Died + My iPhone Stopped Working" is a collection of short interviews with some of the survivors. People who have tremendous insight into the rise of Artificially Intelligent machines or, more often, don't. Why did the robots rise up? What did they want? Why couldn't they be stopped? Can they be stopped now? Is humanity doomed? And what the f--k is going on with the squirrels? You will get the answers to all of these questions. Or some of these questions. Or none of these questions. We'll see. I will be updating this once a week until I run out of stuff that I find funny. Then I'm done. Cover art courtesy of the hilarious and ridiculously talented Dave Pressler. (http://www.davepresslerart.com)