❝In which a celebrity dials a random number in hope of finding one last thing to make him smile before he commits suicide at the end of the month.❞ "I'm going to commit suicide in one months time." "I think you have the wrong number." "It can't be the wrong number Princess. I picked a random number from the catalog." "Why on earth would you do that?" "Because you, sweetheart, are now my own personal suicide helpline. Your job is to make the last month of my life worth living." ______________________

"Its an emergency." "Is your hair stuck in your onsie again?" "...yes." [Dialogue story]

"Princess, is that you?" "I'm sorry, what? You have the wrong number." "It cannot be a wrong number if I dialed a random number." "Does this work on all the ladies?" "More importantly, is it working on you?" "To be determined." [Completed]

[Highest Ranks: #1 in hotline, and #11 in Short story] "Do you really want to know my name" " Yes tell me" " DO YOU REALLY REALLY WANT TO KNOW?" "YESS" " YOU REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT TO KNOW!" " YESS TELL ME GODDAMMIT!" " MY NAME IS..." " WHAT?" " THE NAMES BOND, JAMES BOND" --- Sitting around in an office chair working part time wasn't really Lucys cup of tea and being home alone wasn't really the same either for Mark when you have an idiot for a roommate, but who knew things would get a little livelier when you mix: One fateful phone call Two amazingly sarcastic dorks And a whole lot of puns. You might just want to buckle up your seatbelts for the sarcastic duo coming your way.

One note, two note, three note and more notes from anonymous. *A/N: This story is pretty cheesy! Be warned lol * Amazing cover by @mara_cleia

"who are you?" "it doesn't matter." "uh, it kinda does." "all you need to know is I'm a guy that's your age and goes to your school." "thanks, that narrows it down to about two hundred people."

In which a boy attempts to parent a mess-of-a-caller. But parenting just doesn't work that way. ████████████████ Written in dialogue form. Also written when I was like 15 so please don't come for me :') Not a sequel to "Teenage Helpline". © @MiaNightlock. Cover made by me.

"This is Julio's pizzeria, what would you like to order?" "Hi, could I have a large pepperoni pizza with a double chocolate mocha delivered to 76 Maple Avenue?" "That will be 13.50. Anything else?" "Not really." "Your order will be ready in 20 minutes. Thank you for calling." "No problemo, love ya." "Love you too." "..." "..." "Did you just --" "Don't expect any discount on your pizza just because I expressed my undying love for you." // idea from tumblr \\ //and yes This is cliche\\

"hello, sweet treats bakery at your service. how may i help yo-" "did you know that the first macaron was made in italy?" "uh, no?" "do you have macarons?" "yes, ma'am." "great! i'll order about, 4 dozen. thanks, see you soon." {lower case intended} {highest rank: #159 in short story} © SUNRAYYS

"Kannst du mir das Boxen beibringen Mason?" Kylie Simspon ist 17 Jahre alt, reich und hat die zwei besten Freunde der Welt. Doch ihr Leben ist alles andere als perfekt und glamurös. Sie leidet unter ihrer Familie, vor allem unter ihrem Alkohol kranken Vater, der sie seit zwei Jahren gelegentlich verprügelt. Kylie will nur eines. Sich gegen ihn verteidigen können! Zufällig lernt sie Mason Parker kennen, welcher regelmäßig in einem Box-Center am Stadtrand trainiert. Er soll ihr beibringen sich selbst zu verteidigen und aus ihr eine starke junge Frau machen. Doch bei Masons attraktivem Aussehen, ist es fast unmöglich sich nicht in ihn zu verlieben. Oder? ____ 02.06.16 #4 in ChickLit