Parker Elway is having dreams. Strange dreams; waking dreams; dreams in which she opens her eyes in the darkness to find herself paralyzed and surrounded by shadows from her deepest nightmares. The doctors call it sleep paralysis. But is it really so simple? As the waking terrors worsen and strange people begin to appear in town, Parker sets out to uncover the truth. And when she digs up a trove of hidden secrets and a dark past that everyone seems all too eager to forget, she begins to wonder: is her terrifying dream world merely the result of a sleep disorder? Or is it reality? [National Silver Medal Winner in the 2014 Scholastic Art and Writing Awards]

Elliot and Julia have a complicated relationship. Since they met in the seventh grade, the only heart-to-heart conversations they've had have been strictly over text. But they don't mind this lack of intimacy. If anything, they enjoy it. Don't think that this lack of heart-to-heart conversations mean they haven't had some, how should we say, interesting moments. Such as when Julia lost her virginity to Elliot. Yes, you read that correctly. It's a long story. It was just one time. Actually, it was four times. In one night. Once in the morning too. But it was just on one occasion. Okay, two occasions. It's a really really long story. Basically this is just a long story of two people with a complicated, never fully defined, relationship. Well, it's not exactly the full story. This is just the highlights. *cover by @soundthealarm*

They're worlds apart, and this isn't high school, so how the hell did a homeless female writer end up renting a billionaire's mansion? And - hold your breath - becoming his fake girlfriend? ➳ full blurb inside ➳ first reached #1 in humor on july 6, 2015 ➳ first reached #1 in business on august 29, 2023 ➳ winner of best humor book in the fiction awards 2016 ➳ featured by cadbury (marvellous creations) and secret lives of the americans (pivot) P.S. This is a SATIRICAL BILDUNGSROMAN. Proceed with caution. (cover by @glueeater)