i was sinking, and i couldn't swim. {phan au} highest ranking - #10 in danandphil

"you're the only thing saving me from myself." (this book is a piece of s h i t)

"the world isn't just black and white, you know." the year is 1994. philip lester has been brought up with the most religious of ideals, in a highly christian household. he attends church every sunday, says grace at the dinner table nightly, prays as often as possible, and wouldn't ever dream of disobeying his parents. that is, until, he meets dan howell, his polar opposite. -intentional lowercase-

"Why do you think you have to base yourself off what others think of you? Why can't you just be yourself for you?" I looked at him, befuddled. "How would you possibly know I do that?" I scoffed. He looked back to me this time, looking deep into my eyes. "I just know. I know that behind that pretty face of yours, you've got an even prettier personality. Show the world!" Dan will do anything to be the same as everyone else. Phil will do anything to not.

Countless psychiatrists and doctors have attempted to break into Gerard's obsessive and disassociated world, tried to rationalise his behaviour and straighten out his distorted image of the universe. But all Gerard wants in life was to be high enough to touch the stars- and to understand why in the world his English teacher has the ability to make him feel like he's already up in the sky.

Dan Howell, a 17 year old boy. A mute. Diagnosed with severe anxiety, paranoia and depression. Anti-social. This bot meets Phi Lester, a happy, excitable boy, who loves to talk. But, Phil is new to the school. He doesn't know who are good and who are bad. Phil and Dan meet once, and maybe for the last time. But Phil makes Dan smile. And you never know, this mute boy may fall in love with Phil. W A R N I N G ! This story may contain, self-harm, abuse, talk about suicide, and some other triggering themes.