They're worlds apart, and this isn't high school, so how the hell did a homeless female writer end up renting a billionaire's mansion? And - hold your breath - becoming his fake girlfriend? ➳ full blurb inside ➳ first reached #1 in humor on july 6, 2015 ➳ first reached #1 in business on august 29, 2023 ➳ winner of best humor book in the fiction awards 2016 ➳ featured by cadbury (marvellous creations) and secret lives of the americans (pivot) P.S. This is a SATIRICAL BILDUNGSROMAN. Proceed with caution. (cover by @glueeater)

Now a digital pilot for SYFY The Society knows when we're going to die. They imprint it on our arms at birth. I was supposed to die yesterday. I'm the girl who's Expired. Winner of the 2020 Readers Choice Awards Cover by @Forcade

Charged with an arson she has no memory of committing, Astrid is placed under the care of well respected psychiatrist Dr. Jonathan Crane, whose methods are decidedly... unconventional.

"If you were really my best friend, you'd see that you were the only person I've ever wanted to be with. You've been dating everyone else while I'm just sitting around waiting for you to open your damn eyes!" I yelled at him as tears streamed down my cheeks. He looked at me with wide eyes, clearly confused. He then held a sympathetic look on his face when he saw how passionate I was about this entire situation. I can't believe he didn't realize all these years that he was the one I wanted to be with all along. "How was I supposed to know Riley? You didn't tell me shit!" He yelled back at me but still held his same sympathetic look. I shook my head at him, wiping my face as I backed away from him, stepping into a pile of snow in the process. There was already snow on ground but more snow had just started to fall from the sky. "Look, I have to go. My mom wants me home for dinner." I said turning on my heels and walking away towards my house. I didn't even bother looking back but I knew he was still standing there. I wondered if he'd run after me or if he'd sweep me off my feet like I always imagined but no, nothing. Just broken dreams and maybe even a broken friendship. *For hopeless romantics

There is a house, notable for its lack of any interesting feature, that serves as home to four tenants. The last of these leads the reader down corridors of mystery and wonder. There's something about that place that makes him feel all is not well with his fellow housemates, none of whom he has ever seen. Pressure is put on him to find out more and his curiosity takes him down a path on which, once started, there is no turning back.

She was tested. Battered. And Bruised. He was her saviour. He was her only hope for survival, happiness and love. And she was not his... Ramlah Khan had always taken care of her younger sisters. She was the shoulder for her friends to cry on and her parents hope. She always believed that she could overcome all kinds of problems when having strong faith in Allah. She did not know that she was to be tested in the cruelest way ever - her love, her faith, her trust all will pay the price of being the strength of those around her. Fadil Mirza has always been successful whether in school, in his career or even making many friends. He had his whole life planned. He truly believed his childhood female friend will become his life partner in this World and the next, little did he know that his judgement was truly wrong. Ramlah and Fadil's lives get entwined when they work towards developing and maintaining their relationships. However, Allah had written a completely different destiny for them. Content Warning: Some of the content may not be appropriate for young or sensitive people as there is implicit reference to sexual activity and strong language. Although, the book should pass for PG13.

Plain Jane. Previously bullied Jane is starting at a new school, where she hopes to escape her bullied past by her mother, brother and peers. The extra pounds from her previously plump body now gone, Jane feels like a new person. Her first day of school doesn't go to plan, and her next one isn't much better. Hopefully a certain geography teacher can turn it around, despite someone intent of catching her attention. Of course, a story is not a story without the usual danger, threats and romance... A Student/Teacher Romance

What happens when you fall in love.... illegally? Do you avoid it, or continue with it? Avery Winters is facing that hard question, and doesn't know how to answer it. When she starts school, she believes it's going to be a good year. But when she meets the new English teacher at school, she begins to feel a spark between them. She finds it hard to stay away from him... but it's not just her. What happens when both of them can't keep away from one another? Do they fight it, or give in to their need for each other?

Thrown in at the deep-end when she gets a scholarship to an elite ballet Academy, Carly's only saving grace is her handsome personal tutor, Mr. Langley. Her ballet is below par, her classmates dislike her, and her only friend cares more about the environment than her. Even Mr. Langley dislikes her... at first. But as everything else goes downhill, their relationship blossoms into something passionate and intense. Their relationship is forbidden, but can they find a way to be together?

If you're judging this book by its cover and title, you're already proving the point this story wants to make. Try to move past this satirical obstacle in front of you. This is a story about bullying, and like the hundreds of other books on the topic, it will show you the harsh reality of being discriminated, belittled, ridiculed for something you cannot control- how you look, who you love, or what you believe in. But unlike these books, this story's sole purpose is not to tear your heart out of your chest as you mourn over your loss of faith in humanity. Instead, this book will make you laugh and love alongside these characters. Just like in life, there will be moments of dread and surrender, but there will also be moments of happiness, laughter, and love. - Naomi Lorraine, better known as Nerdy Naomi with her thick-rimmed glasses and straight-A report card, is the most unpopular girl in her school. Even with the help of her sarcastic comebacks, that doesn't stop her from getting bullied by everyone in Dartwell High. Every day her childhood bully, Raymond Meyers, knocks her off her feet, literally. However, she can't do anything but survive the laughs, insults, and bruises high school gives her. There are three senior transfer students, dubbed the Three Musketeers: Bennett Frazier, Jordan Wallace, and Declan Lynch. All in one day, Naomi catches their attention one by one. With her snarky attitude, but innocent look, they can't help but want her. But not the way you're thinking. Oh no, not like that. Instead, it's probably the whole opposite. It's quite simple really. She'll be their good girl. And they'll be her bad boys. ~ [This story is a first draft written by a 13 to 15-year-old girl so it has its fair share of grammar mistakes and plot holes.] Wattys 2015 Talk of the Town Award Second Place Story of 2015 Best Humor and Overall Points of The Fiction Awards 2016 Third in the Writers Awards 2016 Highest Ranks: #1 Humor, #1 Teen Fiction