"You're an asshole," I blurted. "You're such an asshole that your actual asshole is jealous." Silence. What the hell did I just say? Out of all the insults, I choose one that makes the least sense? Damn it, why couldn't I just have been born normal... Wait, never mind. Psh, screw sanity. "Can we keep her?" Tyler suddenly says, bouncing on his tippy toes. "Please, Keith? Can we keep her? Huh, huh, huh?" What am I, a pet? "Keith" whipped his head towards Tyler so fast I could've sworn I heard a crack. "Keep her?" he echoed. "No, Tyler, we can not keep her." Thank you. "She's utterly useless to us, and you want to keep her?" I gasped, placing a hand over my chest. Useless? Damn, these people are rude as hell. "But," Tyler whined, walking over to me. I tensed all over when he squished my cheeks together. "Look at how adorable she is. She's just so innocent... you'd never suspect anything bad from her." Keith expression changed, to one I knew very well from my experiences with Val. Lightbulb. "Tyler, you are a genius," Keith says. Tyler's hands stop squishing my cheeks. "I am?" "He is?!" everyone else says. Keith doesn't reply, just keeps on grinning wickedly. And suddenly I have a feeling that I am not gonna make it out of here alive. - WARNING: VERY CRINGE WORTHY MATERIAL NOW AVAILABLE TO PURCHASE http://www.lulu.com/shop/angel-zenith/the-gangleader-kidnapped-me/paperback/product-23087208.html Highest Rank: #1 in Humor April 19, 2015 CoAuthor: DreamCreature

Serena Davidson leads two lives. At school, she's a morbidly obese, stupid, nerdy, bitchy, slutty, and a teacher's pet. But at home she's the scrawny vegetarian pushover. What would possess someone to wear a fat suit every day? And what happens when someone finds out?

Heroes. Ever since they showed up, people have gone soft. They're adored, worshipped. Devotion is showered upon them like rain. It's about time someone knocks them off that pedestal they stand on, someone to crush their pillars of faith. Someone like me. A villain. It's perfect. I'll be the undoing of heroes. ≠ disclaimer: very much needs to be edited, very much needs to be less corny and very much needs to be entirely rewritten by me. if you approach it as a goofy, corny, old 2015-esque superhero book then it'll be a great time. i'll be honest and say there are no pulitzers here. completed ✓ highest rank in sf: #9 cover: @narwhelly