"Hello?" "Um, hey?" "Wait, you don't sound like my Aunt Kathy." "Unless I was miraculously converted into a member of the opposite gender and somehow related to whoever is on the other side of this call, then yeah. I'm not your Aunt Kathy." "Oh, shiitake mushrooms." - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Short Story #1 (19/04/18) 2016 Fiction Awards Finalist © 2015 evethespy. All Rights Reserved.

After escaping her past, Miranda finds herself in coastal Maine, and when she meets Owen, she must help him uncover what truly happened to his now-dead ex. ***** On the run from her abusive ex, Miranda Lewis figures a small town in coastal Maine is just the place for her to lay low. There she befriends Claire, the owner of a local cafe, and her son, Owen. A woodworker and musician, he keeps to himself, especially since the town believes he played a part in the disappearance of the town's pride and joy... a skilled artist and his former girlfriend. As the two begin to grow closer, Miranda agrees to help him uncover the truth behind what really happened, especially now that strange things are occurring again, leading all roads back to Owen. [[word count: 70,000-80,000 words]] Cover designed by Simone Northey

Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!

A quiet afternoon is infinitely more interesting when you add a young man who claims to be a time-traveler, a half-completed shopping list, and an unhealthy amount of sarcasm. {Written 2014}