"You're an asshole," I blurted. "You're such an asshole that your actual asshole is jealous." Silence. What the hell did I just say? Out of all the insults, I choose one that makes the least sense? Damn it, why couldn't I just have been born normal... Wait, never mind. Psh, screw sanity. "Can we keep her?" Tyler suddenly says, bouncing on his tippy toes. "Please, Keith? Can we keep her? Huh, huh, huh?" What am I, a pet? "Keith" whipped his head towards Tyler so fast I could've sworn I heard a crack. "Keep her?" he echoed. "No, Tyler, we can not keep her." Thank you. "She's utterly useless to us, and you want to keep her?" I gasped, placing a hand over my chest. Useless? Damn, these people are rude as hell. "But," Tyler whined, walking over to me. I tensed all over when he squished my cheeks together. "Look at how adorable she is. She's just so innocent... you'd never suspect anything bad from her." Keith expression changed, to one I knew very well from my experiences with Val. Lightbulb. "Tyler, you are a genius," Keith says. Tyler's hands stop squishing my cheeks. "I am?" "He is?!" everyone else says. Keith doesn't reply, just keeps on grinning wickedly. And suddenly I have a feeling that I am not gonna make it out of here alive. - WARNING: VERY CRINGE WORTHY MATERIAL NOW AVAILABLE TO PURCHASE http://www.lulu.com/shop/angel-zenith/the-gangleader-kidnapped-me/paperback/product-23087208.html Highest Rank: #1 in Humor April 19, 2015 CoAuthor: DreamCreature

A Wattpad exclusive backstory behind The Boy, in theaters January 22nd.

DISCLAIMER ANY SIMILARITIES TO CHARACTERS IN HERE TO CHARACTERS OF NOT HERE IS PURELY INCIDENTAL. This has nothing to do with fans nor does it have anything to do with fucking. but I will say that there is an overwhelming amount of electrical fans and also, if i know anything about my writing style, probably also the use of the word "Fuck." So why pick the name "Fan fuck?" In all honesty my friend made a typo while messaging me one day and because my sense of humour is acute to that of a 12 year old I found it funny enough to name my first book after. As you can probably guess from this description so far, this story has nothing to do with the two underwear models on the cover either. I just came across it and found it hilarious because of how petrified and confused they looked while taking the photo and how they're seemingly attempting to make eye contact with you through a screen. This story IS about a moody teenage girl and the way she struggles through life with her boy troubles weighing down on her like a rather heavy set of weights would on a scrawny teen boy with everything to prove and nothing to lose. This has the eventual promise of vampires and werewolfs and all that other YA romance novel bullshit, but the thing that this story really has going for it, is the approval of my mum. Enjoy

Penguins.

♛Wattpad Featured Story♛ The retelling of Cinderella through the eyes of the (cynical and perverted) pumpkin that became the carriage. ▶There is strong language in this story.◀