Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!

WARNING! Please be advised that this is not a bedtime story about sparkly fairies and pink unicorns. This book may contain graphic descriptions of poisoned apples and witches' ovens. It is not appropriate for supernatural beings under the age of 377 (excluding vampires and werewolves). DISCLAIMER: Wicked Witches Inc. and Evil Stepmother Enterprises are not responsible for any maiming, mass murder or permanent insanity resulting from the reading of this book.

NOTICE: UNFINISHED AND AS OF NOW WILL PROBABLY NOT BE FINISHED EVER Aceria is a corrupt land, under the rule of a tyrannical King, and Fyra, a thief who is more than she seems, has seen the kingdom's suffering firsthand. She has wandered the impoverished towns and cities, running from the past. She saw her mother killed in front of her and has watched people with gifts like hers burned, drowned and imprisoned. She doesn't believe she has the strength to change anything. Fyra is keeping secrets: about who she is, her affinity for fire, and the dark forces poisoning the kingdom. When she is caught and brought to Castle Bluedale, the place she has only seen in her nightmares, she befriends the prince, a charming yet infuriating mystery. But her past comes back to haunt her, and new enemies in the castle bring her nightmares to life.

"What the hell?" I took a step closer to the mirror, staring at my reflection in disbelief. The person looking back was still me, but at the same time it wasn't. I had the same thick, dark, curly hair. The same hazel eyes. The same olive skin with a light dusting of freckles (ugh) scattered across the bridge of my nose. But my curls were now streaked with highlights. And not the subtle, golden-brown ones that sometimes appeared during the summer. No, these were an aggressive, dazzling blond that went from the roots of my hair all the way to the tips. It looked like I had spent a full day getting my hair done in some upscale salon. Never mind that I had never set foot in such a place since the day I was born. My eyes appeared somehow wider and more luminous. The colour brighter, my eyelashes darker up against them. And, when I looked closely, my pupils seemed to be slitted almost like a cat. I looked down at my body. My skinny arms-which had always refused to gain any definition no matter how hard I exercised-were lined with flat, wiry muscles. My bony shoulders were now curved and smooth. My scrawny legs were toned like a dancer. I reached down and lifted my shirt, revealing two subtle lines running vertically down my perfectly flat stomach, hinting at the rock-hard abs underneath. My whole body was rippling with strength. Like liquid steel.

Her destiny is her greatest fear. Seventeen-year-old Halen Windspeare will do anything to extinguish the flames that spark beneath her fingertips. But, returning to the place where she witnessed her father drown forces the fire to ignite. When she encounters a breathtaking stranger from the ocean depths, Halen discovers an underwater world where dark truths about her past surface. Her uncontrolled powers make her both a weapon and a target. Thrust into Dax's dangerous realm, Halen must learn to control the magick burning within her. But with a vindictive demon hunting her and allies keeping deadly secrets, she must navigate a web of lies to master powers that could either save everyone she loves-or destroy them all. The Siren Chronicles Book One Shadow Hunters X The Little Mermaid Read the first ten chapters on Wattpad! Continue reading for FREE on Kindle Unlimited. Link in bio

Chosen when a child, Lady Joselyn is trained to be a ruthless killer. She is destined to be the English king's assassin and protector. Only he and the guild master are supposed to know. It's a life and death secret that must be kept. For an assassin survival is precarious. Life is something you simply cannot take for granted because the next day is never granted. Despite her privileged upbringing, Joselyn quickly learned how to survive on her own and to never trust a soul while following the Guild without question. Upon her return to England, a murderous plot against King Cassiush is discovered. Joselyn is shocked when she finds out who the fiend is. She's even more shocked when the King proposes marriage, a lot. An assassin has never married her king before. The last one who fell in love had her tongue ripped out and was burned alive. Letting her emotions cloud her judgment, Joselynfalls for Cassius and agrees to the marriage, jeopardizing not only his life but her own. Disobeying the Guild means death. Now she must figure out how to keep them both alive and not piles of smoldering ash.