These are just a bunch of f*cked-up jokes. So if you have a dark sense of humor, then go ahead and read this junk. If you get offended by these jokes: 1. I'm sorry. 2. It won't happen again. 3. 1 and 2 are lies. 4. You're a p*ssy. Nah, Jk, I understand if you don't like my jokes. x3

"It is your choice," he said, stepping so close to me that our lips were almost touching. "Either do what I say - or get another job." My heart stood still as I gazed up into his deep, dark, dangerous eyes... In a world where women's only role in life is to sit at home and look pretty, Lilly is determined to fight for her freedom. There's only one problem: a powerful man blocking her way.

Warning: this book contains highly secretive information and should not be seen by public eyes! If this file falls into the wrong hands, the results could be disastrous! To be delivered to Washington posthaste - Bond, James Bond

"You're an asshole," I blurted. "You're such an asshole that your actual asshole is jealous." Silence. What the hell did I just say? Out of all the insults, I choose one that makes the least sense? Damn it, why couldn't I just have been born normal... Wait, never mind. Psh, screw sanity. "Can we keep her?" Tyler suddenly says, bouncing on his tippy toes. "Please, Keith? Can we keep her? Huh, huh, huh?" What am I, a pet? "Keith" whipped his head towards Tyler so fast I could've sworn I heard a crack. "Keep her?" he echoed. "No, Tyler, we can not keep her." Thank you. "She's utterly useless to us, and you want to keep her?" I gasped, placing a hand over my chest. Useless? Damn, these people are rude as hell. "But," Tyler whined, walking over to me. I tensed all over when he squished my cheeks together. "Look at how adorable she is. She's just so innocent... you'd never suspect anything bad from her." Keith expression changed, to one I knew very well from my experiences with Val. Lightbulb. "Tyler, you are a genius," Keith says. Tyler's hands stop squishing my cheeks. "I am?" "He is?!" everyone else says. Keith doesn't reply, just keeps on grinning wickedly. And suddenly I have a feeling that I am not gonna make it out of here alive. - WARNING: VERY CRINGE WORTHY MATERIAL NOW AVAILABLE TO PURCHASE http://www.lulu.com/shop/angel-zenith/the-gangleader-kidnapped-me/paperback/product-23087208.html Highest Rank: #1 in Humor April 19, 2015 CoAuthor: DreamCreature

2015 ©treblehrts

As the only daughter to one of the most powerful Mafia families, Shay has sought to figure out her own path despite the overbearing pressures from her Family. After a family dispute leads to Shay and her mother to go into hiding, Shay attends Elite academy--her own perfect Hell. With an incredibly awful (or ingenious) disguise, Shay's new identity is going well until Jacob Smith shows out of nowhere. Not only does he seem to know every right button to push, but he also seems to know everything about her. Shay's seemingly normal school life explodes with a new set of problems. Old and new enemies are coming for her and she needs to choose whether she will carry the Ricca name. Goodbye Nerd Disguise, hello old identity, old life, old friends, and new enemies. It's the Family business, where plotting someone's assassination is just part of the daily duty. (Unedited first draft) FYI title may be misleading at first.

"Mooooorrrrrrrreeeeeeee, this book is like air, i need it!" @noromance101 "These chapters are written BEAUTIFULLY! You are, without a doubt, my favorite writer on this site. " @nagykt "Reading this feeds my soul." @Yrthraethra Sixteen-year-old Mirra can see people's memories. She is a Shadow Weaver, one of the outlawed, glitter-eyed race feared in her land and forced into brutal slavery as children. She and her brother Kel have escaped their fate by hiding near the frozen mountains. But when bounty hunters snatch Kel, Mirra injured and unable to track long distances will lose him unless she gives herself up to his captors. As as a Shadow Weaver who's survived childhood and whose golden-flecked irises have faded, concealing her talent, Mirra's own value is priceless on the black-market. Taken to a lawless town in the northern territories, Mirra convinces her captors to sell her to a mysterious young man destined for the same province as the officer who has bought her brother. The young man is the Kingdom's missing Prince, feared dead after his escort was attacked on an expedition. He has been in hiding, waiting for a Shadow Weaver whose skill he can use to discover who ordered his assassination. But before he will risk breaking his father's law and taking Mirra to the royal court, he must test her talent and her ability to hide it. If Mirra fails, her hopes of seeing her brother again will be cut by the noose around her neck. HIGHEST RANKING #1 in Fantasy on Wattpad. #1 Amazon Sword & Sorcery This book was taken down in DEC 2017 due to publishing restrictions. It is now possible to put it back up on wattpad. From March onwards 2 chapters will be posted per week until the completed book is available.

"So what do we do?" "We can work something out. There's just one problem... We can't let your brother find out." ❁ Available now to order! Link in bio!

"My beautiful Puppet Boy and my beautiful Puppet Girl." A teenage boy and girl find themselves trapped in the lair of a crazy man obsessed with human puppetry. __________________ #1 in horror - 12/6/15 [featured - 12/30/15] IMPORTANT NOTICE - if you're reading this story on a site that is not www.wattpad.com then you could be at risk of a malware attack. Furthermore, please go to this link: www.wattpad.com/user/z0mbies, and report to me where you are reading this story. Thank you. WARNING: This story contains distressing material. Reader discretion advised. The characters in this book are fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.