"This book speaks to anyone with a neurodivergent brain, that may feel like an alien here on earth. I swear Browning made me laugh and cry and question reality...sometimes all in the same sentence." -JD Todd, author The universe is a very strange place. It will take even stranger heroes to save it. Potto is dim-witted, extremely forgetful and incredibly naïve. He wasn't always this way. Aye-Aye is devilishly shrewd and has boozed his way into a comfortable existence of incompetence and sleaze. How they ended up being two of the most wanted aliens in the galaxy is anyone's guess. Chased down by every oddball bounty hunter in the known universe, and befriended by a libidinous assassin, a fire-breathing reptilian, and a telepathic tree, their misadventures take them past Earth (the mall planet), to a floating sex circus, a planet of killer stuffed animals, an underground spaceship impound lot, and to a planet of reasonably priced bungalows. All while flying around in a ship powered by the brain waves of a psycho killer. A great prophecy proclaims that only "one of light, and one of dark" can save the universe from the dictatorship of The Node. That can't be Potto and Aye...Potto doesn't know what the word prophecy means, and neither know how to spell it. Part sci-fi epic, part absurd dark comedy, I Don't Seem So Bright in a Well-Lit Room is a comment on human behavior, depression, anxiety, and self-esteem. But way more fun than that sounds. So, do up your space seatbelts...it's going to be a bumpy ride. Despite the lack of potholes in space. (Sci-fi /Dark Humour/Absurd) *Completed! Enjoy! Highest rankings: #1 Adventure #1 Action #1 Science Fiction/Sci-fi #1 Misadventures #1 Absurd #1 Mindbending And all because of YOU. Thank you. *Now available in paperback from Story Well Publishing anywhere you like to order books! www.storywellpublishing.com Merch available at: www.theseanbrowning.come

"Mooooorrrrrrrreeeeeeee, this book is like air, i need it!" @noromance101 "These chapters are written BEAUTIFULLY! You are, without a doubt, my favorite writer on this site. " @nagykt "Reading this feeds my soul." @Yrthraethra Sixteen-year-old Mirra can see people's memories. She is a Shadow Weaver, one of the outlawed, glitter-eyed race feared in her land and forced into brutal slavery as children. She and her brother Kel have escaped their fate by hiding near the frozen mountains. But when bounty hunters snatch Kel, Mirra injured and unable to track long distances will lose him unless she gives herself up to his captors. As as a Shadow Weaver who's survived childhood and whose golden-flecked irises have faded, concealing her talent, Mirra's own value is priceless on the black-market. Taken to a lawless town in the northern territories, Mirra convinces her captors to sell her to a mysterious young man destined for the same province as the officer who has bought her brother. The young man is the Kingdom's missing Prince, feared dead after his escort was attacked on an expedition. He has been in hiding, waiting for a Shadow Weaver whose skill he can use to discover who ordered his assassination. But before he will risk breaking his father's law and taking Mirra to the royal court, he must test her talent and her ability to hide it. If Mirra fails, her hopes of seeing her brother again will be cut by the noose around her neck. HIGHEST RANKING #1 in Fantasy on Wattpad. #1 Amazon Sword & Sorcery This book was taken down in DEC 2017 due to publishing restrictions. It is now possible to put it back up on wattpad. From March onwards 2 chapters will be posted per week until the completed book is available.

Sam is the most promising swordsman among this year’s crop of Paladin trainees...and knows it. Brash, cocky, and unbeatable with a sword (well, almost), Sam is the kingdom of Thule’s best hope against the violence wrought by demons. The only problem is that Sam is really Lady Samantha, daughter of the seventeenth Duke of Haywood, and if her father has his way, she’ll be marrying a Paladin, not becoming one. But Sam has never held much interest in playing damsel-in-distress, and so she rescues herself from a lifetime of boredom and matrimonial drudgery. Pity that Tristan Lyons, the Paladin assigned to train her, is none other than the hero of her childhood. He hasn’t recognized her as Lady Samantha--yet-- but if he does, he’ll take away her sword and send her packing. Sam is not the only trainee hiding secrets: Braeden is a half-demon with a dark past that might be unforgivable. Sam, Braeden and Tristan set out for the western coast, charged with rooting out an infestation of demons that has made the West unlivable. As they travel, they uncover a deep-seated corruption of power that threatens to derail everything they stand for. Rebellion stirs, led by a rival faction of warriors who tempt Sam to join them with an irresistible offer. A war between men is coming, and Sam must pick a side. Will saving the kingdom cost her life -- or just her heart? Reminiscent of Mulan, but with a medieval fantasy twist, Paladin is a tale of adventure, action, and romance.

COMPLETE #1 in Fantasy #1 in Adventure #1 in Historical Fiction ---------- Sometimes, believing helps us to see truth. Other times, we need a little evidence to believe. But there is truth behind everything; every false manoeuvre, ever little lie...a small piece of truth is hidden. Just like truth is wound into legends too. Growing up best friend to the future King, Arabelle never really thought her life could go wrong. Whenever she wanted something, or needed something, she would get it. Then she lost her father at a young age and Arabelle was forced into a world of dresses, balls, and lies. Being a tomboy, Arabelle would have rather been out on her horse doing archery practice with her brothers. When Arabelle gets curious and sneaks into a forbidden area of the castle, she discovers a deadly secret: her bloodline is sacred, dating back to a legend surrounded by the one thing she knows not to be true. Unsure what to do, she gets caught up in a series of events that lead to her being hidden and whisked away from the only familiar place she knew. After making some unlikely allies, Arabelle sets off on a journey to find the legend of the last dragon egg. Fate has something big in store for her; will she be able to withstand the pressure of it all?There is one thing Arabelle needs to learn to survive this new place... Some things are more than a legend. ---------- © Isabella Espe 2013 - 2019 This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. This work is unedited. Your patience and leniency towards any grammatical or spelling errors is requested while you read this story. This story was written in 2013, and the author knows there are a lot of errors in this work. Thank you for understanding. ---------- Credit to @Abyss-of-Crazy for the cover!

"As soon as you believe you are a monster is when you become one." After many years of war, the kingdom of Edria is finally in an era of peace--peace obtained by one thing and one thing only. A deal. King Regol has made a deal with the devil, or rather, a beast. A monster. Or so he claims. When he uses the deal for his own advantage, he threatens a girl named Zara, who has had everything but her family taken away. Zara is ordered to kill the beast Regol made a deal with, unbenownst to her that the deal even exists. When her attempt fails, she is left with two choices: to never go back home, or to learn from the beast so she can take back what is hers. She faces dangers on the castle grounds she thought were only stories; magic, creatures that kill a person in a single puff of air, and lastly, the beast, who can barely control the darkness that has buried itself in him for years. The longer she is on the castle grounds, however, the more she realizes everything is more than it seems... ...and that she has a power she could only dream about. **** A retelling of Beauty and the Beast Wonderful cover by @nicegirlsreadbooks Highest rank: #1 in Fantasy #4 in Adventure

The life of a thief isn't for the faint of heart. Jade Briar has become accustomed to this way of life; always on the run, always hiding. She has gotten used to seeing her bounty on city walls and hearing her name cursed by angry voices in the dead of night. Everything was fine... Until she got caught. After five years of thievery, Jade expects to be killed. Instead, the King gives her a tempting offer: her help, for her freedom. All she must do is complete a seemingly simple mission in the city built on revenge. Failure, will mean execution. But things get a lot more complicated when a ghost from her past shows up. *QUILL AWARDS 2017 WINNER- Fantasy* *SHADOW AWARDS WINNER - Fantasy* *Fox Awards 2017 WINNER - Fantasy* *Raven Awards HONORABLE MENTION - Fantasy* Cover by me (Please note that I am not currently updating this book. I might revisit it in the future, but for now I won't be working on it.)

If you're judging this book by its cover and title, you're already proving the point this story wants to make. Try to move past this satirical obstacle in front of you. This is a story about bullying, and like the hundreds of other books on the topic, it will show you the harsh reality of being discriminated, belittled, ridiculed for something you cannot control- how you look, who you love, or what you believe in. But unlike these books, this story's sole purpose is not to tear your heart out of your chest as you mourn over your loss of faith in humanity. Instead, this book will make you laugh and love alongside these characters. Just like in life, there will be moments of dread and surrender, but there will also be moments of happiness, laughter, and love. - Naomi Lorraine, better known as Nerdy Naomi with her thick-rimmed glasses and straight-A report card, is the most unpopular girl in her school. Even with the help of her sarcastic comebacks, that doesn't stop her from getting bullied by everyone in Dartwell High. Every day her childhood bully, Raymond Meyers, knocks her off her feet, literally. However, she can't do anything but survive the laughs, insults, and bruises high school gives her. There are three senior transfer students, dubbed the Three Musketeers: Bennett Frazier, Jordan Wallace, and Declan Lynch. All in one day, Naomi catches their attention one by one. With her snarky attitude, but innocent look, they can't help but want her. But not the way you're thinking. Oh no, not like that. Instead, it's probably the whole opposite. It's quite simple really. She'll be their good girl. And they'll be her bad boys. ~ [This story is a first draft written by a 13 to 15-year-old girl so it has its fair share of grammar mistakes and plot holes.] Wattys 2015 Talk of the Town Award Second Place Story of 2015 Best Humor and Overall Points of The Fiction Awards 2016 Third in the Writers Awards 2016 Highest Ranks: #1 Humor, #1 Teen Fiction