He was a billionaire, I was a bellboy, can I make it anymore obvious? It all started one fateful afternoon in summer of 2012. I was working as a bellboy at the Trump Hotel in Hong Kong on an internship program. This was my first time in a big city. It was all I could have ever dreamed of, and more. But little did I know, it was all about to change. Follow me on twitter.com/aguywithnolife Please note, this story may contain mature humor that isn't suitable for all ages.

She wasn't born cool for the summer, so they locked her up in the basement thinking she would rot there. How wrong they were when they found out that she lived a secret life down there... and what a life! Oh, I forgot to introduce her to you. Her name is Poot. INTRODUCTION VIDEO BY THE AUTHOR: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtYdReP7xnU

After getting her heart broken, she decides to email her ex- but she does not send it. Little did she know, he does the same thing. Copyright © 2015. All Rights Reserved.

❝Hello, this is the Starb-❞ ❝HEEELP ME!! PLEASE! THERE'S A MURDERER IN MY HOUSE!❞ ❝OH SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!! WHAT DO I DO?! THIS IS STARBUCKS, NOT FREAKING 911. WAIT, HOLD ON. TRY TO KEEP YOURSELF ALIVE, I'LL CALL 911!! STAY CALM. IT'S GOING TO BE O- ❞ ❝Wait...did you just say Starbucks?❞ ❝Um...yeah?❞ ❝They have a hotline?❞ ---- fun conversations between two Potterheads over the Starbucks hotline. [highest rank: #6 in short story] [highest rank: #2 in short story 5/6/17]

"Give me ten days, and I can give you ten reasons not to die." Evan paused. "And if I can't change your mind by then, you can go jump off that cliff."