"They say life is fragile, and we're not all guaranteed tomorrows." My name is Phoenix, and despite my name being a bird that rises from the ashes, I can barely rise from my bed on a good day. I was born to be fearless, but I am in fact, a fearful wimpy girl who can't keep her emotions in check. I'm convinced God is a sadist. My life is okay-ish. I mean if you consider a suicide attempt, a coward father, my overbearing family, my brother's vengeful ex-girlfriend, my amazing best friend and her asshole of brother, okay. Then yes, I live a comfortable life. Or so I thought, until Jace Stone happened.

They're worlds apart, and this isn't high school, so how the hell did a homeless female writer end up renting a billionaire's mansion? And - hold your breath - becoming his fake girlfriend? ➳ full blurb inside ➳ first reached #1 in humor on july 6, 2015 ➳ first reached #1 in business on august 29, 2023 ➳ winner of best humor book in the fiction awards 2016 ➳ featured by cadbury (marvellous creations) and secret lives of the americans (pivot) P.S. This is a SATIRICAL BILDUNGSROMAN. Proceed with caution. (cover by @glueeater)

Miki Tanaka, originally Momo Tamamoto, has been mute ever since her parents neglected her when she was a child. What happens when a certain Host Club member makes it his mission to get her to talk?