He was a billionaire, I was a bellboy, can I make it anymore obvious? It all started one fateful afternoon in summer of 2012. I was working as a bellboy at the Trump Hotel in Hong Kong on an internship program. This was my first time in a big city. It was all I could have ever dreamed of, and more. But little did I know, it was all about to change. Follow me on twitter.com/aguywithnolife Please note, this story may contain mature humor that isn't suitable for all ages.

I am Jesus, your savior. After dealing with all the shit I do for your race, I come across this... fan fiction. I am greatly disturbed on why you read this. I am constantly wondering who larry is and why he is so important, or the cat named Phan who always seems to appear? Who are these people... They are the DEVIL SPAWN. I have looked through your window while you read this stuff (say is my description. Go hit that follow button with the bible why dontcha') and I am not impressed. That's why I leave comments on this 'smut' you read to make sure you don't go as far as the level 'you unholy shits turn back now or you go to hell'. So fear not. Read my guide book and embark on your journey to a more holy life style. (496in Fan Fiction)