Funny Sex Jokes

These are for people who enjoy funny sex jokes. These are not mine; they're found all over cites, webs, books, etc. I just wanted to share the jokes that I thought was pretty funny. ENJOY GUYS!

Mad As A Hatter (Completed 2015) [WATTY AWARD WINNER *Featured Story*]

Madness can only be written in blood. //#1 in Horror, #1 in Action, #34 in Humour and WATTY AWARD WINNER: One of the Most Addictive Stories of 2014 and Featured Story//A Horror Comedy by 8tracks// You can't spell 'manslaughter' without 'laughter'. An adventure in which she takes great pleasure in seeing a whole...

Oh...A Bad Boy

"Tell me," he said staring right into my eyes. "I can't," I replied looking at the ground focusing my attention on my shoes. "Tell me it's a lie," He said grabbing my face softly in his hands,forcing me to look in his eyes. "I can't," I sighed. My heart started pounding I didn't want this to happen. "I have canc...

Jake the Panty-Ripper (Book 1, the Phantoms MC Series)

LIMITED TIME: Read this STEAMY Story and Earn FREE Bonus Coins From Dec 16- 22, read for at least 60 minutes and enter to win up to 120 Coins (5000 Winners) Maya, an innocent nurse, finds herself forced to accept protection from the Phantoms motorcycle gang, specifically the dangerous, irresistible biker, Jake Ford. ...

Beautiful Disasters [complete]

Sebastian, the bad boy with the damaged past. Chanel, the quiet girl with the damaged past. Two teenagers paired to work together don't realize just how interlinked their pasts are. Will they work together to untangle the past and solve everything once and for all? ~ "Stop acting this way!" He yelled, his face flu...

The Stories of Misfits

"To be honest, none of us really belong anywhere, but we're all outsiders and outsiders tend to band together like their own island of misfit toys." -Violet Zykin, Flowers. Marie thought her heart was okay. Derek thought that he was alone. Violet thought that being subordinate to her sister didn't bother her. Shamshad...

The Senator's Son (2016 Watty Award Winner)

College is just like her old life . . . bleak. Surviving it won't be easy, especially when the girlfriend of the guy she's loved her entire life would rather see her dead. So much for that clean slate. Instead she's constantly looking over her shoulder, watching, waiting and worrying. Lucky for Emma she met The...

Lycanthropy (Lycan Series: #1)

❝when the sun goes down the beast comes out❞ Highest Ranking: General Fiction #2 // Werewolf: #2 ~ He's the reason werewolves lock their doors. She's the reason that they feel safe around him. Katya is a werewolf who runs the pack with her older brother, but when rogue clans threaten them from all around- they have n...

Obsession || h.s [completed]

"I was scared... but wouldn't you be? If a serial killer was utterly obsessed with you?" Highest rank: #2 in Thriller

Shadows (Book 2 of the Zara's Wolf Trilogy) BWWM

[Complete] Now that Zara and Evan have consummated their relationship, it's time to meet Evan's family. Despite Evan's best attempts to reassure her, she's still nervous about the upcoming meeting--especially when it means meeting another, much larger, pack of wolves. However, as Zara is about to become aware of, all...

A Dragon's Rider (Unedited)

UNEDITED VERSION ( edited version on my page) In a world where every year, five male children from each city and village between the ages 15-18 are chosen to become dragon riders, what happens when only four males get chosen from one village? And what happens when they test the girls and the fifth child is chosen? Edi...

How to Kill an Incubus, #1 [SAMPLE]

This is a sample only. H2KAI is now available for purchase on Amazon! eBook: http://www.amazon.com/How-Kill-Incubus-Kimber-Lee-ebook/dp/B00ZVC9S8C Don't forget to leave a review! Paperback: http://www.amazon.com/How-Kill-Incubus-Kimber-Lee/dp/1680303880/ref=tmm_pap_title_0?_encoding=UTF8&sr=&qid= Book #1: Rae couldn't...

Unromantic

“I’m a hopeless romantic. Not a prostitute!” You’d think that for a guy who could make the entire female population of our high school drop their pants at the snap of his finger, Adam Flynn would have some sort of charm. Instead, he is the opposite of charming. He’s revolting; he’s mean; and his only saving point in t...

100 Voicemails

[You can now purchase 100 Voicemails' paperback on Amazon!] After a car accident, seventeen year old Steve Carlton, goes into a coma. When he does wake up after a few months, he suffers from temporary memory loss. During this time, he starts to go through his messages and voicemails on his cellphone, trying to get a...

Match Maid in Hell

Evangeline. An innocent, sweet maid with a tragic past. Seth. An arrogant, rude jerk with a troubled past. When Evangeline is 'forced' to be his maid and Seth is 'forced' to take her on, it can't be a good idea. When both of their protective walls finally crash and fall, will it destroy them both or can this Match mad...

Michael 2.0

Michael was created by the team of the skilled Dr. Lawrence to be the first robot to simulate human emotions with perfection. Dr. Charlotte DeLanne is part of this team. She considers her life to be finally perfect: a great job, a loving fiancee and the biggest launch of her career with the Michael Project. However, s...

J e a n s J a c k e t

[FEATURED STORY] At school, they were nothing. At midnight, they were lovers. Because one minute after midnight... a rich girl and a boy who came from nothing found something they had in common. © 2014 All rights reserved | Short-Story #2 | Humour #25 |

Silent Love (PUBLISHED)

Carter Miller has always been in the spotlight. When your parents happen to be a rich CEO and a famous author, you shouldn't be surprised to have the attention of everybody. However instead of embracing it, Carter rather shy's away from it. Now that she is off to college, she can escape from all the camera's and drama...

Hideaway

(Previously known as The Cinderella's Bad Boy) ------- "Be your own kind of Cinderella" ............ (Extended Summary inside) All Rights Reserved. (Cover by : -infinities) (IMPORTANT: This is NOT a re-telling of Cinderella. It is a pure work of TEEN FICTION AND HUMOUR.)

Trump Temptations: The Billionaire & The Bellboy

He was a billionaire, I was a bellboy, can I make it anymore obvious? It all started one fateful afternoon in summer of 2012. I was working as a bellboy at the Trump Hotel in Hong Kong on an internship program. This was my first time in a big city. It was all I could have ever dreamed of, and more. But little did I k...

Je t'aime

"Hello?" I asked, my voice groggy from sleep. "Do you want to have phone sex?" a deep, sexy voice said at the other end of the line. "W-what?!" I bolted upright, pulling the sheet over me. "Who's this?" "I said, do you want to have phone sex and you have to guess who this is" he said, and then I knew. Seventeen-year...

The Shy Girl Has a Gun

Faith Mitchell was never confident. She was happy to blend into the background, much to the protest of her friends. At 16, her life was a normal teenage cliche. She was in love with Jace, the obnoxious player who she couldn't have, and her biggest worry was whether or not he would finally come to his senses and see th...

BLACK (H.S)

I stood there, watching, as she ran her fingers through the knots of my soul.

The Alpha Meets The Rogue

Leila lived with her pack all her life. It was until she was forced into an arranged marriage that she ran away from home. She turned into a rogue and while running away from an Alpha, she ends up kidnapped by another one. The exception for this was one: this Alpha was her mate.

Mr. Composure

"Once upon a time..." All the best stories begin that way. Once upon a time, Jack climbed a beanstalk. Cinderella did go to the ball. Once upon a time, his parents died. When your parents are killed in front of you, on the one day of the year when all crime is legal, what do you do? You prepare for next year. You pr...

Finding Everett | ✔️

✨✨Shortlisted for 2017 WATTYS!✨✨ Losing any human sense sucks. But for Everett North, losing his vision at eight years old made his life a living nightmare. Angry and hurt, his sanctuary became the world he found in music and he shut out the world. But when a new girl emerges on the scene and attempts breaking t...

Monster: Origins of Darkness #1 (On Hold)

All monsters live behind a disguise, but are all monsters evil? She refuses to become a monster, even if her destiny dictates it. A story of hope, friendship, family, love, and sacrifices. NOT a werewolf/vampire novel.

Accidentally on Purpose

Hannah Taylors finally gives in to her desperation and does one of the stupidest things a girl can do to grab her unapproachable long-time crush Jonah Gibbs' attention: spill soda on his white shirt and leave a motherfrigging red blotch on it. Accidentally... on purpose.