{I lost him a while back, but I didn't realise until it was too late. Until he was gone for good.} TW for depression, suicide, and lots of existentialism.

"Phil Lester is the literal sunshine of my life. If I didn't have him in my life, I may have been dead by now. Every day still sucks, but whenever I'm with Phil, my heart remembers that life is worth living. The only reason my life is worth living is to be next to Phil. To see him smile, to hear him laugh, to listen to his voice, to watch him move...everything. Everything that he does brings the much-needed light into my life." Dan Howell has many struggles within himself, despite his successful YouTube career. The only one who truly helps him is his best mate, Phil Lester. Dan has been madly in love with Phil since the first day they met. However, Dan knows that it is inevitable that Phil will never return the feeling because he is only interested in women. As Dan attempts to battle his own demons, Phil seems to be quite happy and even ends up dating a beautiful girl. Unfortunately, this makes Dan's mental state even worse. What will happen to Dan? Will he ever confess his strong feelings for his best friend? Will he ever overcome the ongoing war in his head?

When you say you're okay, you're saying it but... your eyes are saying something else. *TRIGGER WARNING* Finished July 18th, 2018

I know you haven't made your mind up yet, but I would never do you wrong. I've known it from the moment that we met. No doubt in my mind where you belong. I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue. I'd go crawling down the avenue. No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do to make you feel my love. Scömiché fanfic. (:

Dan is secretly suffering from depression. On the outside he seems bubbly and happy, but on the inside he wishes for it to all be over. When his friend, Phil, unexpectedly invites him to stay at his apartment, Dan struggles to keep up the glass that was protecting him. Will Phil help clean up the pieces? TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ INCLUDES SELF HARM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, DEPRESSION, ANXIETY AND EATING DISORDERS. STAY SAFE EVERYBODY. Completed 19/12/18 Best Ranking: #1 in danandphilfanfiction

Dan is struggling with his self confidence. Well, let's be honest. Dan has no self confidence and struggles to face the harsh realities of life and the pessimistic thoughts and voices that inhabit and nag his brain constantly. Phil tries to help his friend to realize that he really isn't as much as a monster as he thinks of himself to be. These two friends embark on a journey of love, hate, discovery, and confusion. And will they even still be friends by the end of the journey? Will Dan's turmoil break apart their friendship or turn it into something more? Dan and Phil try to answer to the burning question, How to Help Howell? WARNING: Some of this story may be triggering, so if you're sensitive to depressing topics and/or thoughts, gay slurs, mentions of eating disorders, and self harm, this may not be the story for you, which is perfectly fine. Read at your own risk! In case you didn't know, this is Dan Howell and Phil Lester fanfiction. If you haven't heard of them, then go check out their YouTube channels (AmazingPhil and danisnotonfire) right now. It won't take you long to fall in love with them and once you do, come back and read the story. :)

..drip..drop..drip.. ..you couldn't have.. ..fixed a bitter sweet love.. ..drip..drop..drip.. [COMPLETED] {UN EDITED}

Dan had lived a normal life. No good friends and no big problems but all this changes when he meets Phil. Phil was the new kid who always seemed to be happy and hyper, but was he really? Will their relationship ever be normal, because now it just seems to be broken. "Phil?" My body froze. My mind went in to panic mode. I removed my lips from hers as quick as I could, but the damage had already been done. I look at Dan and I look in his eyes and I see all the hurt that was already present in his heart. What had I just done? "Dan.. It's not.. um I can explain.." He looked at me and tears started rolling down his cheeks, and my heart broke as well because the next thing that happened was him whispering "We're done." TW: depression, ED, suicide, SH, sexual themes (i tried to put TW before specific chapters but a lot of the themes run throughout)

"Mitchy, why are you always dating the wrong guys?" "Because none of them is you!" "What?" "Umm... I should not have said that."

A young brunette (Mitch) had been abused when he was a child, and it had made him scared of everything to this day. Mitch has had mental issues when he was younger and grew up with no friends and no one to talk to. His mental issues had seemed like they slipped away for a few years when he was dating his boyfriend Travis. But Travis started abusing Mitch and it made Mitch's problems even worse. Mitch was put into a mental hospital by Travis and doesn't know what to do or where to go. Since he is scared of everything, he doesn't speak, and never makes eye contact. No one can seem to help him. No one but a tall blonde. The tall blonde has a name (Scott) but Mitch has never had the courage to speak up and ask for the blondes name. The blonde seems to be the only one that mitch will make eye contact with, and rarely talks to him. What will happen when The blonde starts falling in love with Mitch?