CONDOM JOKES

Just plain old funny yet puny condom jokes

My Brother's Best Friend

"So what do we do?" "We can work something out. There's just one problem... We can't let your brother find out." ❁ Available now to order! Link in bio!

Untouched ✔

"Y-you," she stuttered, staring at the handsome man sitting on the sleek black throne, "you're..." He rolled his eyes, waving his hand impatiently and said, "Hades. Come on, say it with me. Ha-des." "Hades," Ariel breathed out, still not believing the sight before her. Every picture she had seen of the gods had no...

Romeo and Juliet

Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy written by William Shakespeare early in his career about two young star-crossed lovers whose deaths ultimately reconcile their feuding families. It was among Shakespeare's most popular plays during his lifetime and along with Hamlet, is one of his most frequently performed plays. Today, t...

In 27 Days (Watty Award Winner 2012)

Hadley Jamison doesn't know what to think when she hears that her classmate, Archer Morales, committed suicide. She didn't exactly know him, but that doesn't stop her from feeling like there was something she could have done to help him. So to Hadley's surprise, on the very night of Archer's funeral, she has a r...

Dumped and Pregnant (#Wattys2015)completed

Isabella finds out that the man she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with, had not only dumped her to marry another but also to find out she is pregnant with his child. Isabella is in her final year in college and if life wasn't already throwing enough obstacles in her path what happens when a man c...

choose | luke hemmings

It's you, May. You're what I want forever. [COMPLETE] achievements: #1 in fanfiction

After

Tessa Young is an 18 year old college student with a simple life, excellent grades, and a sweet boyfriend. She always has things planned out ahead of time, until she meets a rude boy named Hardin, with too many tattoos and piercings who shatters her plans.

Royal Blood (Book I)

[WINNER OF BEST HISTORICAL FICTION STORY IN THE FICTION AWARDS] There is a story that has been whispered into ear after ear across many countries. It's a sad but hopeful story, the story of The Lost Princess of Scotland. You should know that the story I am about to tell you is true. The horrific events within said sto...

Roommates (REWRITING)

CURRENTLY IN THE PROCESS OF BEING REWRITTEN!

My Dark Knight

In the era where swords rule, where women consider their modesty their greatest virtue. Where a man would kill to find his wife warming another mans bed, a time when women would consider it the greatest of adultery or fornication to warm a bed other than her husbands. A time when an honorable man guards his gaze, for...

Nerd in Disguise: Blood Bound

As the only daughter to one of the most powerful Mafia families, Shay has sought to figure out her own path despite the overbearing pressures from her Family. After a family dispute leads to Shay and her mother to go into hiding, Shay attends Elite academy--her own perfect Hell. With an incredibly awful (or ingenious)...

She's With Me (Book 1, the With Me series)

LIMITED TIME: Read this story chosen by Wattpadders like you and earn FREE Bonus Coins! From Jan 20 - Feb 2, enter to win 80 Coins with every 80 minutes of reading (15,000 Winners) *** She's With Me is now published as a Wattpad Book! As a Wattpad reader, you can access both the Original Edition and Books Edition upo...

Bad Boy's Game

He lit his cigarette, I lit nothing. He drank alcohol, I drank water. He smirked, I smiled. He didn't love me, I didn't love him. He and I together wouldn't last a day. And then the game started... He said he found me intriguing, unique, and interesting because I didn'...