This is the most misleading title I have ever decided on you know those rlly bad texting/kik fics yeah that's what this is I'm not even making a serious description for this but it actually has a semi plot.

Dallon Weekes hates flowers. He also coincidentally owns a flower shop, which will look great on his college application letters (which he's sent in to many schools and has received absolutely no feedback whatsoever, from anybody). He's swimming in debt with only a flower shop to provide income, so long story short things aren't going as well as he'd planned. But the guy hellbent on revenge for his cheating ex with poison ivy in his pockets might convince him that it's okay. And Brendon Urie just got cheated on. His (ex) partner is allergic to flowers, which he plans to throw through his bedroom window (since he lives right next to him), and the best flower shop around, according to Google, is Dallon's. He's not sure how he's going to break a window with a plastic case full of flowers and poison ivy, but as soon as Dallon moves in down the street, there's no harm in missing if it means he gets to see him again.

Nobody's going to ever make Brendon change who he is. Passing him on to some prissy private school and pairing him with some goodie-goodie is definitely not going to work. It doesn't matter how much time they forcefully spend together, or how desperately everyone wants it to work. It'll work, they say, it'll definitely work. It will. At least, not in their favor. [Disclaimer- I don't,,, I don't really ship it. This is essentially practice work.]

Brendon isn't exactly... normal. Well, he is for the most part. That's what everyone that knows says - his life is pretty average. He has friends, and family he rarely speaks to, a job, and a spacious place to live. Really, he's like everybody else. Except for the whole ghost thing. But we don't talk about that.

[Detective/Spy au whatever you wanna say] de·prav·i·ty dəˈpravədē/ noun: depravity; plural noun: depravities moral corruption; wickedness. "a tale of wickedness and depravity" -picks up too quick and doesn't slow down, I know I hate books that pick up on the first chapter too. It's fine it's fine it's fine -it's also gonna be decently short. I have come to accept the fact that fight scenes are not my strong suit -so many original pointless characters jeez

Ah yes, the classic ditch and cold shoulder combo - something Dallon is used to, which is definitely not a good thing, in case you were unaware. But thanks to Brendon, he's much more than simply aware of how awful it feels to watch your best friend leave you in the dust with no explanation, how it feels to watch your EX best friend make the optimal position on the famous football team and win 3 national championships in a row, get nothing but A's for 3 years, and do it all with the football teams beloved halfback. It's a good thing his comedic friend is there to keep him company. But first of all, how? Second of all, bad luck always makes its way to everyone, as does good luck to everybody else that'd been stuck in a never ending pit of despair for far too long. And third of all, Dallon's luck is about to change. ... "If only we knew," I told him, watching my own words twist up in frigid smoke "if only we knew that years later we wouldn't speak to each other until now, if only we knew how fucked up things would turn out to be." "I wouldn't dare to trade a second of any of it if I knew I'd end up right back here with you."

If I'd known, if I had genuinely identified the signs of unhealthy deceit and lies from the beginning, I might've stayed out of it. That wasn't what happened, though. [Based off The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald]

Brendon Urie is unstoppable. The famed Museum of Natural History stationed all the way out in Montana just recruited him to the renowned group Blue: a team of paleontologists working isolated on a barren wasteland to uncover anything they possibly can before they head back in a couple months. Simple enough, according to Brendon. There's no easy way back and almost no way to contact the museum without traveling miles and miles back to the closest road in the middle of nowhere. With nobody to check up on the tiny dream team, it's almost as if they've been removed from the face of the Earth. But the moment they uncover the bones arranged in strange ways, team members start disappearing, and Brendon is going to wish he'd stayed in California. And in a matter of sixteen days, he's going to have to make a choice.