book TWO (READ BOOK ONE FIRST IF YOU HAVE NOT) I will fully admit this is a diary. There is no way I will fight it.I'm here to talk about my feelings, my thoughts, my crushes..And I'm totally okay with it. I have no shame at all.I'm okay with the fact that the cover is a bright purple with curly letters that read 'diary' I'm also okay with the fact that it lights up when you press a button.Its pretty god damn cool. But what has been lurking in my mind recently is a boy. a certain curly headed boy..I'm sure you know him, he knows the diary world quite well.. Matter of fact- I've read his diary. I only know a bit though, he hates my ex Amanda, he hates me, but adores me at the same time, hes highly afraid of michael clifford for some unknown reason... Oh, and, he'd do anything to date me. Fabulous..

Lashton Fanfic. Secret Keeping. Clue Dropping. Confidence take. It all adds up in the end. Question is. Negatively? or Positively?

Ashton and Luke are polar opposites. Ashton's gay and Luke is a homophobe. They're put together for a project and they go to Lukes house. Luke learns more about Ashton. Will he change his mind about Ashton and fall for him?

Meet Luke Hemmings. He is a mute fanboy of the band 5 Seconds of Summer, especially the lead singer Ashton Irwin. He has a twin sister named Andrea who gets him tickets for their next concert in Sydney. While at the concert, Andrea catches the attention of the drummer, Connor, who asks her to go backstage to get to know her. Luke and Ashton meet and both of them instantly get along. Will a love broom between them or will Ashton give up on the mute boy? Side of Malum.

This was made centuries ago. Okay, last year, but my writing has improved so if you want to read some cringey shit read this lol. "Why am I such a Fuck up?" "You're not," "If I wasn't the love of my life would love me back!" He didn't know what to do anymore, it seems as everything's gone down the fucking drain for him. He can never have a smile on his face without feeling like he's forcing something on him. He knows he's a disgusting faggot who's gay and he doesn't really give two shits when he's high and taking heroin to take away the pain which is life. He doesn't give a fuck when he's slicing his wrists feeling blue in his blood. He doesn't really give a fuck about anything anymore, just the littlest things like the fans and his band mates. They don't know about his secret that has somehow fucked up his life. He gives a shit about one thing though Luke Hemmings. And it's hard to know that the one thing you care about, you can't have. When Luke finds out about this, he didn't know he's the source of the pain, it hurts him so much knowing that he wants to help him, but while he's helping him it's destroying Ashton more.

Ashton can't take care of his own brother, so his parents hire a babysitter. © goldenstarkey | 2014

Ashton is okay right now. He's always like this after a bad bout. He starts off saying that the world is his oyster and he loves everyone, but when the energy and fresh success fades, so does he. Luke knows. He knows about all of Ashton's problems. He knows about the time Ashton was bullied nearly to the brink, the family deaths and friend losses, and the ups and downs, the latter of which seem to be more common lately. It's been so easy lately for Ashton to slip after a joke gone wrong, or a jab on Twitter. Ashton always says he's sorry, repeating it again and again if only to convince himself. Luke knows he's sorry, knows that he can't help it. And he'll sit by the bathtub for hours, holding Ashton, to make sure that he knows someone loves him. None of the other boys know. Ashton couldn't bring himself to tell them and face their disapproving stares too, and he wouldn't let Luke tell them, so he's stuck in this half state of secrecy and confession to Luke. Ashton hasn't gone too far yet, not far enough that Luke can't patch him up with gauze, antibiotics, and a long hug. But someday, someday, Luke knows Ashton won't be able to take it anymore, and Ashton will die. And Luke will be all alone.