things that i joke about
15 stories
As They Rise (The Eva Series #1) by jenmariewilde
jenmariewilde
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A Wattpad Featured story. As seen on The Huffington Post. Book One of The Eva Series, which has over 3M combined reads! A kick-ass young girl, a nation swarming with zombies, and a sweet romance that grows amongst the ruins. You'll find all that and more in this exciting and action-packed apocalyptic YA story. Readers have said it's had them on the edge of their seats, reading all through the night and still craving more. Eva was just an everyday girl, working as a waitress, hanging out with her friends, and falling in love. But her whole world changed overnight when a powerful virus spread throughout the country, transforming it into a wasteland of deadly disease and crazed zombies. With Australia cut off from the rest of the world and rampant with terror and chaos, Eva and her friends must do whatever they can to survive. Set in Australia, blood, gore, friendship and true love collide to make this tale of survival stand out from the rest. The Eva Series is guaranteed to make you smile, scream, cry and fist-pump the air as you go on a wild and dangerous ride with Eva and her friends. And it all starts here, as they rise. Are you ready? Hit the Start Reading button and get ready for a heart-thumping adventure. Previously titled 'Eva Wilde Vs The Zombie Apocalypse.' AS THEY RISE is the first in a series of books following her dangerous journey as Australia becomes an apocalyptic island. THE EVA SERIES: Book One: AS THEY RISE Book Two: WHILE WE FALL Book Three: BEFORE IT FADES **Please note: This is the first draft. Please excuse any typos or grammatical errors. I've just done a big re-write, edit and expansion of this, and it's now available on Amazon Kindle, iBooks, Kobo, Nook + Google Play here: jenmariewilde.com/books** Tweet me: @JenMarieWilde / #TheEvaSeries (Completed 01/01/2013)
Enhancement by scifiwriter
scifiwriter
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Welcome to the nation. Welcome to the place where everything is monitored... everything is portioned... everything is perfectly under control... Everything except the SkyTrain Holland Renner was aboard. In a matter of seconds, Holland finds herself in a world she didn't know existed. Before, she was free within limits. Now, she's one of 400 others. Before, Holland was at least human. Now, she's not so sure. All she knows is that she needs to endure and survive. But what does this have to do with SkyTrain 267-B? Click the "Start Reading" button to uncover the secrets buried within the core of Holland's society. WATTY AWARD WINNER 2015!
The BadBoy screams trouble!  by Startdust-Sprinkler
Startdust-Sprinkler
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"S-sorry!" I struggled to release myself from the ropes I was tied with. Carter laughed as he bought the disgusting lizard close to my face. "Front or back guys?" He asked his friends. What does he means by front or back!? God! No! What is he going to do? Oh god! "Front!" They replied. "Yeah, that will be fun!" He said as he pulled the fabric of my shirt from the front and left the lizard inside. "Aaaaaaahh!No!!God! I won't do this again! I promise! I ssswear! I won't do this again! Please don't do thisssssss!" I could feel the thing moving inside my bra. "Carter! Pleeeease! Don't do this! Ahhhhhhhh! Heellllppppp!" I cried, I puked, I struggled and moved like worm but they just watched the show from the far. And Carter, well he was videotaping the whole thing. Now: I didn't realise I had tears in my eyes by now. "Im really sorry Sparkle...." I heard him say as he wiped a tear from my face. "I can never forgive you. Ever!" I shook my head.
The Gangleader Kidnapped Me | ✓ by whiskeyroses
whiskeyroses
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"You're an asshole," I blurted. "You're such an asshole that your actual asshole is jealous." Silence. What the hell did I just say? Out of all the insults, I choose one that makes the least sense? Damn it, why couldn't I just have been born normal... Wait, never mind. Psh, screw sanity. "Can we keep her?" Tyler suddenly says, bouncing on his tippy toes. "Please, Keith? Can we keep her? Huh, huh, huh?" What am I, a pet? "Keith" whipped his head towards Tyler so fast I could've sworn I heard a crack. "Keep her?" he echoed. "No, Tyler, we can not keep her." Thank you. "She's utterly useless to us, and you want to keep her?" I gasped, placing a hand over my chest. Useless? Damn, these people are rude as hell. "But," Tyler whined, walking over to me. I tensed all over when he squished my cheeks together. "Look at how adorable she is. She's just so innocent... you'd never suspect anything bad from her." Keith expression changed, to one I knew very well from my experiences with Val. Lightbulb. "Tyler, you are a genius," Keith says. Tyler's hands stop squishing my cheeks. "I am?" "He is?!" everyone else says. Keith doesn't reply, just keeps on grinning wickedly. And suddenly I have a feeling that I am not gonna make it out of here alive. - WARNING: VERY CRINGE WORTHY MATERIAL NOW AVAILABLE TO PURCHASE http://www.lulu.com/shop/angel-zenith/the-gangleader-kidnapped-me/paperback/product-23087208.html Highest Rank: #1 in Humor April 19, 2015 CoAuthor: DreamCreature
The Good Girl's Bad Boys [Book Two of TGGBB Series] (Ongoing) by RubixCube89201
RubixCube89201
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Book Two of TGGBB Series Naomi Lorraine, who used to be or still known as Nerdy Naomi, looks forward in her thick rimmed glasses to a life without the fear of being bullied. She no longer has to take up the laughs, insults, and bruises high school once gave her, at least she hopes not as much. With her bullies finally realizing there's no point to dedicating their lives to make one person miserable, Naomi thinks she can live out the rest of her life normally. That is until her childhood friend, Dominic, crashes back into her life, throwing out that hope of having a normal life- Not like she had one in the beginning. That is because she has the Three Musketeers -Bennett Frazier, Jordan Wallace, and Declan Lynch- by her side. Together, they faced the adventures life threw at them and would have never thought that anything, or anyone, could break them. Oh, but don't worry. Really, you're overthinking things here. This is nothing to stress over about. It's still quite simple really. She's still their good girl. And they're still her bad boys. Right?
TRICKED: The Ultimate Joke Book by melovebooks1234
melovebooks1234
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TRICKED PART TWO: http://www.wattpad.com/story/18478039-i-was-tricked-too-tricked-the-ultimate-joke-book [COMPLETED 10/21/14] Get ready to be TRICKED! ©COPYRIGHT @melovebooks1234 DISCLAIMER: Some of the jokes aren't mine, but some are. Credit goes to the makers of these jokes :)
Funny Thoughts by 1234chlo
1234chlo
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This is a joke book and I hope you enjoy it. I do not own these jokes.
Six Word Story by Aestrophilia
Aestrophilia
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Six word stories to fill in your thoughts. highest rank: #1 in Poetry
Book of Funny by abookworm_whowrites
abookworm_whowrites
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It's a joke book but I made it in like 6th grade so it's pretty cringey