One girl. One boy. Two insomniacs. ( rose awards short story winner ) ****DISCLAIMER THIS BOOK IS VERY CLICHE AND IT WAS WRITTEN ENTIRELY ON MY IPHONE 7 SO DON'T COME FOR ME

I'm pretty extraordinary (read: absolutely normal) for an average guy named Patrick- Patrick Kraker, and before you ask, no, I do not want a cracker; neither does Polly. Polly's sick of crackers. a) My summer job may or may not involve spray painting myself completely silver and standing motionless in the park. Of course not. b) I also may or may not be investigating and communicating with a homeless guy who is (possibly): one, not actually homeless and two, part of a cult of (probably) bloodthirsty satanic worshippers. *** Copyright © 2015 by unfurled All rights reserved #34 Humour Featured as of 28/04/16

All Ed needed to become the Internet's latest boyfriend was a chili-pepper costume. But getting sunny foreign-exchange student Audra to prom will take a lot more than that. Ed doesn't know he's beautiful. But he is. Even when his crazy boss forces him to wear an "extra-spicy" chili pepper costume as part of a May 5th promotion. It was only meant to be an after-school job at a low-key Mexican restaurant; Ed never signed up for abject humiliation. And when a lovestruck girl snaps a covert picture of Ed while he serves her an enchilada, he couldn't possibly have anticipated becoming the internet's latest imaginary boyfriend. The fame is immediate and disorienting, but if it helps Ed convince quirky foreign exchange student Audra to attend prom with him, being "Enchilada Ed" might not be so bad. (Formerly Ignorance, Bliss, and Mexican Food)