“who knew that a simple game of sims could turn our lives around like this?” all rights reserved. copyright © monroe james [@anchorate]

❝I- what? What are you talking about? Who is this?❞ ❝Well the bathroom stall says that this number is the gateway to a good time, and unless you're trying to say that a bathroom stall is lying to me, I think I need a little more information to be sold. Do you have like a yelp page I could look up? Past customer reviews? How many stars out of five?❞ ❝What are yo- oh my god, I'm going to fucking kill Marie.❞ (alternatively called: a lot of people shit with pens) written in dialogue // cover by xhemmingshugsx

BOOK 1 IN OUAT CRACK SERIES! This book is a series of Once Upon a Time Memes, Sayings and Texts Laugh till you can't breathe or even shed a tear Rated PG, Incase of language Highest Ranking Received: #176 in Random (Thanks so much guys!!) (Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the memes)

Prepare to indulge in your nightmares. Updated weekly. |Copyright.

[sequel to teen helpline] ❝Hello, this is the Breakup Helpline, designed and manufactured to cater to your brokenhearted needs. How may I help you?❞ ❝My girlfriend...just cheated on me. With my best friend.❞ ❝Um..uh, hold on...oh, fuck! There's nothing on how to respond to that in these answer sheets!❞ ___________________________________________________________________ When happy-go-lucky Theo Hastings discovers his best friend has been fucking his girlfriend behind his back for the last six months, Theo's whole life has been careening on the rocks- until his cousin, Damien Carson, forces him to look for help on a helpline- a particular helpline call the 'Breakup Helpline' and there he meets sarcastic, cynical realist Serena Adams, who doesn't believe in love at all. And maybe, just maybe, Theo can change her mind. this is a tale about the hopeless romantic and the skeptical non-believer, the idealistic sentimentalist and the bitter soul, and how fate brings them together.

"But that's what you love about me, my dirty side, eh?" "Please remove your mouth from my ear before I place my fist on top of your jaw in a very fast motion." "Ooh, kinky. I didn't know you like it fast, ay Jordan?" "..." "You see what I mean when I said I'm the type of boy that will make any girl speechless." "What, with your ugly face?" "Well...damn." ~ Jordan was a girl. Alfie was a boy. They were best friends. Pfft, yeah like that's ever gonna work. (Dialogue story) Warning ⚠️ I wrote this all in one day when I was younger so it's not the most amazing story it's simple, cheesy and if you want a laugh and nothing too serious then continue on to the book. (Ignore the grammar mistakes I haven't fully edited it yet)

From: Anonymous To: Peyton Waldin 'I think I love you' Sent at 7:33pm #3 in short story [07.07.15] © elysiance 2014

[You can now purchase 100 Voicemails' paperback on Amazon!] After a car accident, seventeen year old Steve Carlton, goes into a coma. When he does wake up after a few months, he suffers from temporary memory loss. During this time, he starts to go through his messages and voicemails on his cellphone, trying to get a clue of who he used to be. Voicemails sent to him from a girl called Ari might have the answers to his questions. A story told through voicemails.