She wore her collection of sins on her skin.

"I love you my beautiful wife." "Shut up, Harry. You're gay and that's that." ~Or~ Harry is married and his wife swears he's in love with Louis. || Ranked: 2nd place in the Popular Larry Stories category of the Bromance Awards ||

"You're an asshole," I blurted. "You're such an asshole that your actual asshole is jealous." Silence. What the hell did I just say? Out of all the insults, I choose one that makes the least sense? Damn it, why couldn't I just have been born normal... Wait, never mind. Psh, screw sanity. "Can we keep her?" Tyler suddenly says, bouncing on his tippy toes. "Please, Keith? Can we keep her? Huh, huh, huh?" What am I, a pet? "Keith" whipped his head towards Tyler so fast I could've sworn I heard a crack. "Keep her?" he echoed. "No, Tyler, we can not keep her." Thank you. "She's utterly useless to us, and you want to keep her?" I gasped, placing a hand over my chest. Useless? Damn, these people are rude as hell. "But," Tyler whined, walking over to me. I tensed all over when he squished my cheeks together. "Look at how adorable she is. She's just so innocent... you'd never suspect anything bad from her." Keith expression changed, to one I knew very well from my experiences with Val. Lightbulb. "Tyler, you are a genius," Keith says. Tyler's hands stop squishing my cheeks. "I am?" "He is?!" everyone else says. Keith doesn't reply, just keeps on grinning wickedly. And suddenly I have a feeling that I am not gonna make it out of here alive. - WARNING: VERY CRINGE WORTHY MATERIAL NOW AVAILABLE TO PURCHASE http://www.lulu.com/shop/angel-zenith/the-gangleader-kidnapped-me/paperback/product-23087208.html Highest Rank: #1 in Humor April 19, 2015 CoAuthor: DreamCreature

Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!

louist91: I kinda really wanna suck your dick louist91: no homo tho ••••• {HIGHEST RANKING: #3 in FanFiction}

Emma van der Bilt is clever, snarky, and spoiled rotten. William Knight is cocky, impatient, and slightly dimwitted. So how exactly did Will manage to kidnap Emma and her best friend twice and live to talk about it? *** "What the hell-" I screeched. "Good morning, sunshine." I looked up in alarm and saw the smirking face of my kidnapper. His face would have made me a lot angrier had it not been terribly swollen, thanks to yours truly. "I'd say good morning, but judging by the boner on your face, I'd say you weren't having such a good morning." His self-satisfied smirk fell almost instantly, and his partner-in-crime laughed out loud from the driver's seat. "Actually," he said, "I'm having a pretty good morning. My luck's about to change. You wanna know why?" I didn't answer. "I'll tell you why. I've successfully kidnapped the daughter of one of the richest men in the country." "Don't start counting your lucky stars just yet. This isn't over yet," I snapped. "Isn't it?" he asked, raising the eyebrow above his good eye. His other one remained in a permanent squint, and it made it kind of hard to take him seriously. "I'm not the one who's naked and tied up in a stranger's back seat." I glanced down at myself and noticed for the first time that I was in my bra and panties. Honestly, I was kind of relieved. When he'd said "naked," I'd assumed he meant birthday-suit naked, not half-naked. *** Warning: Rated PG-13 for sexual content and language. Mostly language. I have a colorful vocabulary.

When 17 year old November Jones accidentally burns off her left eyebrow in a freak accident, she brushes it off. Nothing a bit of makeup can't fix, right? But when she finds herself shoved into the backseat of her own car as a couple of very big, very bad, and very dangerous-looking men drive off with it, things can't be so easily fixed...especially since it's not just her missing eyebrow that needs to be covered, it's also the fact that one of the most wanted criminal organizations in the country accidentally kidnapped a teenage girl while trying to escape a drug deal gone wrong. Could things get any worse? Well, with a girl like November in the mix, the answer is yes.