❝I think you're more of a goddamn female than I am, James.❞ | ❝Pfft, don't you know? The only thing straighter than me is my parking, Janice.❞ | Copyright © 2015 Sarena Akhter. All Rights Reserved.

*****WATTYS 2015 WINNER!***** WATTPAD STAFF PICK (9/7/15) In the end, the robots win. But you already knew that. "Everyone Died + My iPhone Stopped Working" is a collection of short interviews with some of the survivors. People who have tremendous insight into the rise of Artificially Intelligent machines or, more often, don't. Why did the robots rise up? What did they want? Why couldn't they be stopped? Can they be stopped now? Is humanity doomed? And what the f--k is going on with the squirrels? You will get the answers to all of these questions. Or some of these questions. Or none of these questions. We'll see. I will be updating this once a week until I run out of stuff that I find funny. Then I'm done. Cover art courtesy of the hilarious and ridiculously talented Dave Pressler. (http://www.davepresslerart.com)

When five normal teenagers are cursed with the Elements of the Pentagon, they suddenly find themselves wielded with the most powerful weapon they could have ever imagined—they can destroy the world. Gathered under the evil scheming of Professor Vladislav, the Pentalements will only need the cosmic energy radiated from the Caesarean Comet before the Elements inside them will break loose and take control over their very bodies. By then, apocalypse would have made its descent to Earth, and subsequently marks the annihilation of humankind. Thus, when the Lead Element, Lightning, triggers an atomic-bomb ferocity explosion in Detroit and killing himself in the process, Nathan, the Fire Element, knows that he has to act. After two years of hiding and concealing his identity, Nathan embarks on a journey in search of the remaining three Elements. To make things worse, he has both the FBI and the army hot on his tail, not to mention the evil Prof Vlad who might show up at any moment and have him abducted. Will Nathan manage to gather with the remaining Elements in order to survive the multiple threats targeted at them? Will the Pentalements succeed in defeating the Elements within their body and stop Prof Vlad from destroying the world? Or would they succumb to the ecstasy and invulnerability of giving in to their Elements? Flip the page to have all your answers solved, and get thrilled to your roots by the amazing and action-packed adventure that awaits you in this novel! Note: I wrote this novel when I was 16 and self-published it, so any comments, preferably constructive ones, are gladly appreciated! As this is my first book, the style and quality isn't as good as what I wanted it to be, so if you want to check out some of my more recent works, try "Someone's In My Head". It's way better than this. ;)

Donate Body to Science. Check. When seventeen-year-old Kaitlyn checked the box, she never suspected she’d have her life–and her body–stolen from her. She awakens one day in a secret laboratory to discover that her body is now half-robot and is forced to hide her own secret: that she still has human emotions and a human mind. If the scientists who made her find out, they’ll erase what remains of who she was. Kaitlyn finds an unlikely ally in Lucas, a handsome, brilliant scientist who can’t get over the guilt he feels knowing she was once a vibrant, beautiful young woman. He never expected a science project to affect him the way she does. As he tries to help her rediscover her past, he finds himself falling for the brave girl struggling to find her place and acceptance between the human and computer worlds. *For mature teens due to some sexual content.

The family burns basics. Trashes tropes. Their daughter isn't out for blood. She's out for the person who started the cliche that ended her. ✯ ✯ ✯ "Even though I dip your toothbrush in the toilet bowl, excessively steal your clothes, purposefully annoy the hell out of you, and wish at every 11:11 that you'd be in a body bag the next morning - you're still my sister. And we will always have one another's back." ✯ ✯ ✯ "You're a cute banana." "Excuse me?" "Yellow on the outside, white on the inside." He read my silence as confusion and added, "Your little brother there is an Oreo; black on the outside, white on the inside. Your pretty sister over there is a coconut; brown on the outside, white on-" "What the shit. That's how you want to hit on me?" +++ Wendzel Baxtard, a feminist killjoy armed with heavy loads of sarcasm and marinates herself in self-respect, is ready to destroy the ethnic slurs and derogatory terms that were brought on her because of the clothes she wore and her sexual behaviors.

~complete~ Charlotte is as sweet as a strawberry. She's the kind of person who will drop everything just to help you, just to put a smile on your face. She's as sweet as the sugar that constantly runs through her bloodstream, and as excitable as the rush that comes with it. And then there's Benjamin, who's as sour as a lemon. The last thing on this Godforsaken planet he wants to do is acquaint himself with her. While Charlotte is kind and caring, he's rude and vulgar, while she's friendly and innocent, he's crass and mean. So how in the hell is that going to turn out?

Madness can only be written in blood. //#1 in Horror, #1 in Action, #34 in Humour and WATTY AWARD WINNER: One of the Most Addictive Stories of 2014 and Featured Story//A Horror Comedy by 8tracks// You can't spell 'manslaughter' without 'laughter'. An adventure in which she takes great pleasure in seeing a whole lot of blood. CAUTION: Contains sick humour and terrifying insanity. Thus, no lighthearted readers allowed. // Are you ready? Because "some say to survive, you have to be Mad As A Hatter." Cover by @xHeyItsAnnax amazing trailer by @carpe-di3m

WATTY AWARD WINNER OF 2015 - #JustWriteIt Challenge ✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾ The hero of her dreams was too bad to be true. ✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾✾ Villain Academy; where all the psychotic teenagers are trained to be the world's best villains. Try being the baddest of them all when the Puberty Truck is smacking you in the face--repeatedly. It's a hard time for young, attractive villains who haven't reached eighteen. And you'd think they already have enough to deal with when their worst urban legend fear appears: The Hero. So isolating evil-minded, puberty-hitting, aggressive teenagers into a confined brick building may not be the most intelligent choice of mankind. It was inevitable for there to be one hell of a problem. And that problem was me.

Lewis Champion is in love--total, hopeless, unrequited love--with Jubilee Marshfield. Which is complicated, because she's his best friend. And even though his other best friend Shoe, and his awesome grandfather, Paps, are both rooting for him, Lewis can't get up the courage to tell her how he feels. He's always been a wallflower, watching people and making theories rather than acting on his feelings. In a last-ditch effort for her affection, Lewis acts in a play alongside his two friends, and he discovers a talent hidden within himself. But when Paps suddenly dies and leaves in his will a most mysterious task for Lewis, he must find a way to follow through. And along the way, he discovers the secrets of stories, the courage to say what he feels, and a whole new meaning to the word "acting." The only question is, will his best friend feel the same way, or will he lose her when he tells her? Baker Lawley, the award-winning author of THE BATTLE HYMN BLUES, spins a tale of love, drama, and friendship and a good old-fashioned road trip along the way. STEALING THE SHOW is a fun ride on the meaning of acting and the way stories and plays help us make sense of the things we act on.

As an old dead guy once said, "And though she be but little, she is fierce." A self motivating journey dedicated to the short girls, tomboys, weirdos, and outcasts, where a lonely, girl in Bel Air shows the society that big things come in small packages.