Diagnosed with a terminal illness, Peter Katz hires a hitman to take him out. But when a cure is discovered, Peter's got to outrun the assassin to stay alive! ***** When douchebag lawyer Peter Katz gets diagnosed with terminal cancer, he wants to die painlessly. Still, death seems to elude his every attempt, so he hires an assassin to kill him at a random time and place within the month. Unfortunately for Peter, right after he orders the hit, a treatment is discovered that would add decades to his life. Now Peter Katz has to start running, until the month-long deadline ends. Desperate to survive, he has to deal with tall-dwarves, unionized suicide workers, art terrorism and all the insanity that being alive has to offer. Will he make it to the end of the month? Or will Peter Katz live a life's worth of craziness in however many days he has left? For what is Comedy, but Tragedy + Time? [[word count: 100,000-150,000 words]]

Let me tell you what it was to be made vampire. It wasn't birth. Birth implies pushing, tearing forth into the light, screaming. Becoming immortal was to be pulled, to be tugged irrevocably into darkness, and it was silent. I should have fought, any person should fight, but my mind had been filled with a hazy calm which forbade any battle. Struggling had been the last thing on my mind, even when my bus arrived and my assailant waved it on, dismissing my last hope of escape. Yet my lack of rebellion was far from the most unsettling part of the stranger's control over me. The truth was that the man could've asked anything of me and I would've complied, but he didn't need to vocalise his request. I knew instinctively what he wanted. I sighed and surrendered myself as he held me against his front in a lover's embrace, tipping my head and willingly giving him access to my throat. "One day you'll understand," he whispered, his tone subdued. I've often wondered since if he was really talking to me. Perhaps he'd been talking to himself, persuading himself that one day I'd know and accept his reasons for what he'd planned for me. I wouldn't. I couldn't. Because when my fangs came in, my world altered irrevocably. It became somewhere dark, somewhere filled with murder and blood, where magic was sinister and where even my closest ally seemed more like an enemy... Even if he did make my heart skip a beat. VAMPIRE/PARANORMAL/URBAN FANTASY

When Aria's father sells her to a stranger from the north, she never expects to be cherished like a daughter. To live in a castle, showered with every luxury. Her sumptuous new life is every young girl's dream. But as Aria grows older she can no longer deny the mystery and strangeness of her beloved foster family. Especially the Greyback men. Nor can she ignore the dark menace of the woods beyond the castle. Aria is determined to unravel their secrets. Above all, those of Lucian Greyback, the enigmatic and unsettling man to whom she is betrothed. When her curiosity gets the better of her, Aria is compelled to venture into the forest and discover the truth. But beneath flesh and blood lies a beastly legacy. And a birthright she could never imagine. If you enjoyed the gothic, captivating world of mystery in Jane Eyre (but need a little more bite), you will love the suspenseful and alluring secrets of Aria's journey in this book. Cover designed by @JeanineCroft Copyright © 2015 by Jeanine Croft

The first short story I ever sold, way back when I was 23 years old. I dredged it up from the depths of the internet, as all other traces had long since vanished from my hard drives.

A campy Beauty and the Beast

An orphan with a dubious pedigree strives to secure her future through marriage, but as she stumbles through the dance of courtship, she begins to question who she truly is -- and who she wants to be. ***** Edith Shepley looks like a Wyrm. She takes after her father, whoever he was, but that doesn't change things. She is a proper Folk lady nonetheless, trained from the cradle to govern as Baroness of Ewert someday. And she knows her duty. Now a woman at sixteen years old, Edith must marry and beget Ewert's next heir. She obediently considers suitor after suitor, some sweet, some baffling, some detestable. But the more she sees of her mother's society, the more Edith questions whether she really is a Folk lady, after all. And the more she's stung by its insults, its injuries and injustices, the more she doubts she really wants to be. Book One of The Unfinished Wyrm! Wattys 2017 "The Storysmiths" winner!

TO LISTEN TO THE AUDIOBOOK OF THE LAST NECROMANCER FOR FREE check out my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@cjarcherauthor For five years, Charlotte (Charlie) Holloway has lived as a boy in the slums. But when one theft too many gets her arrested, her only means of escape lies with a dead man. Charlie hasn't raised a spirit since she first discovered she could do so five years ago. That time, her father banished her. This time, she brings even more trouble upon herself. People are now hunting Charlie all over London, but only one man succeeds in capturing her. Lincoln Fitzroy is the mysterious head of a secret organization on the trail of a madman who needs a necromancer to control his newly "made" creatures. There was only one known necromancer in the world - Charlotte - but now there appears to be two. Lincoln captures the willful Charlie in the hopes the boy will lead him to Charlotte. But what happens when he discovers the boy is in fact the young woman he's been searching for all along? And will she agree to work for the man who held her against her will, and for an organization she doesn't trust? Because Lincoln and his ministry might be just as dangerous as the madman they're hunting.

Ari Callahan has no idea how to talk to boys -- or how to talk to anyone for that matter. Enter Zac, the cute new guy in town who won't stop texting her. But is his interest real, or does he have a hidden agenda? ***** Found as a young child washed up on the beach, 17-year-old Ari Callahan has never uttered a word out loud to anyone -- not even her adoptive family. Psychologists have diagnosed her with a condition called selective mutism, but Ari can't help identifying with her namesake character, Ariel, the little mermaid in the fairytale whose voice was stolen by a sea witch. Mermaid-obsession aside, Ari's silence makes socializing tough. She's never had a boyfriend or been asked out on a date. Not until Zac, the confident new arrival in town, asks for her number. But Zac has his own reasons for texting with Ari. He's part of a movement to sabotage the artificial music app called SirenSong, threatening to render human singing obsolete. Zac's collaborators have scoured the globe in search of a singing voice perfect enough to break the SirenSong spell, and their search has led them straight to Ari's beachside town. Will her relationship with Zac help Ari find her voice and unlock the secrets of her origins? Or will he use her and leave her high and dry? Title: Ari and Zac (formerly The Mermaid Hypothesis) Content Warning: This story contains references to selective mutism, suicidal thoughts, and early childhood trauma.

Set after the postwar collapse of an interstellar empire, a young orphan girl embarks on a quest for violent retribution. Six years old when her mother was killed, Buttercup endured an unforgiving adolescence on the streets of her home city. She's scraped by ever since, always searching for the man responsible, knowing one day she'll find him.

***Winner of the Wattys 2016 for Hidden Gems*** The Edgewise exists everywhere and nowhere. A sanctuary to all realms, should you find the door. Managed by one Macklemore Edgewise, proprietor, guardian of the between places, and barman of mystery. If the tavern accepts you, abide by the rules. 1. Leave all conflicts outside. 2. No murdering one another. Occasional maiming and righteous wounding exempt. 3. Never leave the door open. There's no telling what will sneak in. Cover art by Krazydiamond