Sarcastic Theo is just trying to get through his senior year of high school with his sister Thalia and his best friend Oliver. But Theo’s life gets flipped upside-down when the overly flamboyant Dimitri Ivanov is thrust into his life. Dimitri is cocky, flashy, and makes a hobby out of annoying Theo. But Theo begins to question whether Dimitri’s constant flirting is all in fun, or if it’s becoming serious. And why is straight Theo getting such strong feelings for Dimitri?

Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!

Christian Ryder may be seen as a heartthrob by the majority of the world's female population, but to Sophia Hastings, he might as well be the newest addition to her hometown's local zoo. Sophia is a young, aspiring actress with big dreams who swears having to work with Christian Ryder wouldn't be worth all the fame in the world. Christian is a cocky womanizer whose world is turned upside down when he realizes his new leading lady just so happens to openly hate his guts. Is it even possible for Christian and Sophia to learn to get along long enough to make a movie, or will hatred, scandal and childish games destroy their careers? *** My eyes widened and I randomly exclaimed, "Oh, my God!" "What?" "Christian, thanks to you, I now understand what people mean when they say you're dark and handsome!" Christian looked smug. "I knew you would eventually." "They mean that when it's dark, you're handsome!" The smug look on his face disappeared. "I hate you." *** Contains some spoilers to Kidnap My Heart.

Emma van der Bilt is clever, snarky, and spoiled rotten. William Knight is cocky, impatient, and slightly dimwitted. So how exactly did Will manage to kidnap Emma and her best friend twice and live to talk about it? *** "What the hell-" I screeched. "Good morning, sunshine." I looked up in alarm and saw the smirking face of my kidnapper. His face would have made me a lot angrier had it not been terribly swollen, thanks to yours truly. "I'd say good morning, but judging by the boner on your face, I'd say you weren't having such a good morning." His self-satisfied smirk fell almost instantly, and his partner-in-crime laughed out loud from the driver's seat. "Actually," he said, "I'm having a pretty good morning. My luck's about to change. You wanna know why?" I didn't answer. "I'll tell you why. I've successfully kidnapped the daughter of one of the richest men in the country." "Don't start counting your lucky stars just yet. This isn't over yet," I snapped. "Isn't it?" he asked, raising the eyebrow above his good eye. His other one remained in a permanent squint, and it made it kind of hard to take him seriously. "I'm not the one who's naked and tied up in a stranger's back seat." I glanced down at myself and noticed for the first time that I was in my bra and panties. Honestly, I was kind of relieved. When he'd said "naked," I'd assumed he meant birthday-suit naked, not half-naked. *** Warning: Rated PG-13 for sexual content and language. Mostly language. I have a colorful vocabulary.

"I talk, but I do not speak my mind I hear words, but I do not listen to thoughts When I wake, all see me When I sleep, all hear me Many heads are on my shoulders Many hands are at my feet The strongest steel cannot break my visage But the softest whisper can destroy me..." - Anonymous Ask anyone: Christian Ryder has everything it takes to be considered Hollywood's newest Golden Boy. A heartthrob whose acting career skyrocketed faster than even he could keep up with, Christian has it all: the looks, the fame, the fortune-and the girls. He would gladly tell anyone who was willing to listen all about the kind of female population he has access to; too bad the only female who actually matters would rather ride a tornado than ride his-never mind. The infamous-and almost famous-female: Sophia Hastings, Christian's new leading lady. Christian has never been afraid of a challenge, but this one has a catch: this challenge could destroy more than just his acting career.

Charlie Hunt is a 23 year old cannibal. He's been completely on his own for ten years now living in the middle of no where. That is until a blond beauty shows up and he finds himself slowly falling in love. There's two questions, Will she ever be able to love a monster like him? And since WHEN do cannibals fall in love with their food?

Earth, meet Zee. Zee meet Earth. When an alien girl crashes right into the back yard of a human man, the world was set to change as they knew it...sort of..kind of.. okay no not really, every orange alien crashing onto earth does that. But Keiran Jay, a computer hacker known as 'Jay Bird', his world on the other hand. is never going to be the same again. Not when he has a very hands on X'sonian warrior following him around and drinking all his beer. ~~ "...What the fuck is this?" The weird ass orange chick froze half of the beer bottle stuffed into her mouth, "mmmmm!" I blinked. "Are you seriously drinking my beer?!" She pulled the bottle from her lips and flipped up from the ground, grinning ear to ear, "Zee!" I stared blankly at it. "Alright whatever, you cannot drink my beer, that my beer. as in I bought it. I need it to get drunk, you do not need it to practice perfecting the blow job." She blinked at me with her bright green eyes, head cocking to the side. Then she reached into my fridge, pulled out another one of my beers and popped the cap with her fang, letting out a tiny giggle before downing the whole thing in one go. I glared at her, "Okay thats it, i'm shoving you in a crate and shipping your ass to area fifty-one." She hissed at me. She fucking hissed at me.

The bell to my grandfathers old shop rang and I looked up from my magazine, "Welcome to Sugar Suga- whoa what happened to your face?" A dark haired man in worn black jeans spat on my perfectly polished cotton candy floor. "shut up and let me use the back room." I shrugged, staring at the light purple tile he spat on, "Kay but was there really a need to spit on my floor? this is a candy shop you know. Cant have bloody spit in the chocolate." If looks could kill I would be melted into a rainbow puddle. He jumped behind the counter and stormed into the back room, "tell anyone here and I'll fucking kill you." I snorted, "what are you going to do gag me with your lolly pop?" He froze in the doorway for a moment before slamming the door behind him. What a fun guy. I looked up at the bell ringing again, "Hello! welcome to Sugar-Sugar my names Lola and I'll be happy to make any non sexual sweet dreams come true!" I love when there are no kids in the store and I can ad-lib the greeting A group of crude looking men stared at me for a long moment, "have you seen a beaten up pretty boy around here?" I pointed out the door, "pretty sure I saw him pass by, why?" They left without answering my question and I shrugged, going back to my magazine, "Yo! pretty boy back there buy some candy will you? its the least you can do after I kept you from getting shot in the face!" ~~ After Lola Fayes grandfather died he left her his beloved candy shop. Doing the rational thing she dropped out of high school to work full time at her favorite childhood place where she was practically raised. So when a mysterious man storms in one day and demands she lets him use the shop as a safe haven as her grandfather had her life is turned upside down in a strange way she never even dreamed she would have to deal with. ~~ A/N just so you know this book contains magic and sex....heh magic sex XD read at own risk!

Some opposites attract; some rip each others clothes off. Stormy-Rain and Marcus are polar opposites: she's a free-spirited, Tarot card reading, rainbow-haired hippie; he wears a suit and tie, and over-shines his already too-shiny shoes. She believes in ancient aliens, crystal healing and auras; he's governed by law and logic, and doesn't believe in Fate. But Fate believes in them...So what happens when their worlds collide and disaster strikes? When they're thrown together under strange circumstances and embark on an epic road trip to catch a plane to a wedding a long way from home? The clock is ticking...and they are seriously ticking each other off. But they're about to discover just how thin the line is between love and hate.

"Your name is Kenneth Kentucky and you work at McDonalds?" I glared at him, "Would you like Fries with that?" He began laughing hysterically and I sighed impatiently, waiting for him to stop. Suddenly, he stopped and then, putting both his hands on the counter, staring right into my eyes, he whispered, "I'd like Fries with you." My eyes widened as it slowly registered that Golden Boy McHarden had just openly flirted with me.