I'm pretty extraordinary (read: absolutely normal) for an average guy named Patrick- Patrick Kraker, and before you ask, no, I do not want a cracker; neither does Polly. Polly's sick of crackers. a) My summer job may or may not involve spray painting myself completely silver and standing motionless in the park. Of course not. b) I also may or may not be investigating and communicating with a homeless guy who is (possibly): one, not actually homeless and two, part of a cult of (probably) bloodthirsty satanic worshippers. *** Copyright © 2015 by unfurled All rights reserved #34 Humour Featured as of 28/04/16

Felix Welter is a superhero. In the safest, most normal town in America. Did someone say 'be yourself'?

❝I swear, people are the cause of cancer.❞

This is a story full of journal entries about a boy, no--MAN, with an overactive imagination, unrelenting sarcasm, and very little interest in his history class. This is also a story full of constructive and not-so constructive comments by the tired man who's forced to grade them.

I'm doing a series of these to protest cliches of the fanfictions on Wattpad. These fanfictions may include: PERCY JACKSON HARRY POTTER KANE CHRONICLES SUPERWHOLOCK MERLIN THE LIBRARIANS OTP ONESHOTS MORTAL INSTRUMENTS AND LEVERAGE So come on down for crossovers and lots of laughter. Credit to: arcticstar who first came up with the idea with her book: Worst Story On Wattpad

WARNING: I SHALL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY STUPID THINGS YOU DO BECAUSE OF THIS BOOK. I DO NOT PERSONALLY OWN ALL OF THESE. VIEWER DISCRETION IS MOST DEFINITELY ADVISED. When you're bored, you go do something to make you "un-bored". I suggest Netflix, Youtube, or if you're a bookworm, reading. Personally, I'm more of a WattpadWorm, but you can be any type of worm you want to be, I'm not judging. When you're really bored, you can read my book. Go try some of these things. Tell me how it works. If you get kicked out of somewhere, I feel your pain. I have gotten "Please leave"s and "We would prefer it if you were to not come back here."s for dares. I've also gotten kicked out of lecture halls for laughing too loudly with my friends or "being a disruption". BUT THAT IS BESIDES THE POINT. What even was my point? Oh yeah, I would love if you would read my book. I'm just a starting author, and every bit of criticism helps. I thank all of my readers so so much and you are fabulous. #34 in random ?! i know it may not last long, but RAD, BRO // keep reading, don't judge the book from this comment.

i wrote this when i was a kid please don't hold it against me 😭 readers comments: "oh my! just the first chapter and already a fan!" -@yawnlax "this should be worth an A*" - @mhin-tdreams "THIS IS SOME GOOD SHIT" - @itzyabitch "WHY DID I CHOKE" - @blxrryfxced © Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved.

⇝Featured on Wattpad @humor profile⇜ Death is stuck in an odd conversation with its latest reap from Earth, and Death is not backing down. Cover by @wannabea-

♛Wattpad Featured Story♛ The retelling of Cinderella through the eyes of the (cynical and perverted) pumpkin that became the carriage. ▶There is strong language in this story.◀

Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!