[SAMPLE] Reed frowned, his eyes filled with confusion when he saw that Lena seemed to be fine. "I heard a scream," he announced stiffly, standing awkwardly over Lena's bed. Beneath the sheets, Lena was torn between renewed arousal and slight mortification. Embarrassment won. "Everything's fine," she muttered, trying to discreetly disengage the battery-operated toy from between her thighs. It was a thick phallus, way too thick to silently exit her wet pússy, but finally, finally, it popped out. "But you screamed." "Because I came, Reed." His bewilderment only grew. "Came where?" And that was when Lena knew that even after what had happened between them last night, Reed was still like a newborn, an innocent. He might have been the most intelligent guy she knew but in many ways, he was still the boy he'd been before the accident that had marred his life. So she heaved out a sigh, clamping her thighs together when she felt his gaze scorch her damp skin. "I had an orgasm, Reed." She calmly spelled it out, wondering if she should mention that it was his cock she'd been imagining inside her. Now that she knew what he was packing, it was impossible to get the image out of her head - not that she was trying. Reed swallowed, a blush creeping up his neck. Lena was instantly turned on by that blush, by his obvious discomfort and arousal. So she did the most natural thing that came to her. She pulled her sheets away.

They live on the same floor. They attend the same luxurious school. They have the same friends. They couldn't stand each other. And just when she thought she could get away from him, they end up being on the same band. Could life get any more worse? Oh, that's right. He, the coldest arrogant jerk, is also the most handsome guy she had ever set eyes on. That's definitely saying something, living on the Upper East Side. Now, she faces her biggest problem of all. Differentiating LOVE from HATE. __________ Realize is copyrighted. **I guess you could say this is Gossip Girl in rainbow land, without all the drama and scandal. Only humorous and fun.**

They're worlds apart, and this isn't high school, so how the hell did a homeless female writer end up renting a billionaire's mansion? And - hold your breath - becoming his fake girlfriend? ➳ full blurb inside ➳ first reached #1 in humor on july 6, 2015 ➳ first reached #1 in business on august 29, 2023 ➳ winner of best humor book in the fiction awards 2016 ➳ featured by cadbury (marvellous creations) and secret lives of the americans (pivot) P.S. This is a SATIRICAL BILDUNGSROMAN. Proceed with caution. (cover by @glueeater)