Summary: Dan draws, Phil doesn't. Phil wears black shirts, speaks loudly, and glares at everyone. Dan wears grey jumpers, doesn't talk, and tries to stay invisible. Phil's reckless, Dan's not. This is as story about two polar opposites who mange to have a string of first times together, and maybe even a cute love story. Because unexpected things always happen, when you try to keep someone at arms length. Rating/Warnings: Mature Readers (READ AT OWN RISK). This story may contain topics of depression, cutting, anxiety, panic attacks, assault, gay slurs, and minor sexual content. If any of the listed content triggers you, please do not read. Please do not copy and post my story anywhere else or create an "adaptation" of my work. Thank you. Copyright © 2013. strawb3rryvib3s All Rights Reserved.

*Triggering* Ashton Irwin. The drummer for the band 5 Seconds of Summer. He is a closeted gay and plans to keep it that way. He has a crush on his best friend and fellow band mate Luke Hemmings. But Luke Hemmings is straight and has a beautiful girlfriend. Also nobody knows that Ashton hates himself and wants to die. He's slowly killing himself by self harm and anorexia. He's slowly wasting away and nobody notices. Will anybody be able to fix the broken boy before it's too late? *this story will be Ashton's POV unless I say so*

Trigger Warning!⚠ "I sorta accidenly almost hit her with my car." "I'm sorry, alright? I'll admit, I suck at driving."

Dan tried to kill himself. He wakes up in a hospital with Amnesia. He doesn't remember anything. Day after day a memory appears in his head. Will he ever find out why he wanted to die? Phil never wants to explain to him what happened. He always says one day he'll find out himself. But what if Dan does find out? Mentions of suicide, boyxboy, general fluff

Dan feels worthless and doesn't talk anymore because he has no one to talk to, and his voice his a nuisance. Phil moves to town due to his Mum's work. Can Phil save Dan from his thoughts? ------------------------------------- I think people don't usually have Dan as the "depressed" one because they feel its to classic, so it's usually Phil in phanfictions (that I've read). NOTE. THIS PHANFICTION HAS SELF HARM, DEPRESSION, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, AND MANY OTHER HEALTH ISSUES. IF THIS IS TRIGGERING TO YOU, CLICK AWAY NOW. (Cover of the book art is not mine)

**Trigger Warning: Self Harm, Abuse, Alcoholism** Dan Howell and Phil Lester never got along. Mostly because Dan took out his horrid home life on the people at school and Phil happened to be an easy target. But when things take a turn for the worse in both of their lives, they're forced to get to know each other better and discover things about themselves they never guessed.

"Hey, Ash. You don't remember me. I'm your boyfriend, Luke. We're in a band, with our best mates, Calum and Michael. You... uh, well you're suicidal. That's what got you in here. You tried to kill yourself. But you don't remember that either, do you? Huh, the doctor says you might never remember these things. Ever. I miss the times where you were too shy to say,'I love you' unless I said it first. But, I guess, in a way, this is a good thing. I might have lost you, but now you don't remember what you hate about yourself. In itself, that's good. Now I don't have to see you hurting. But now, everybody has to see me hurting. I miss you so much, Ash, but I can't tell you that. It'd freak you out, and then, I'd have lost you for good. I'm just going to have to hold on to the slight possibility that you'll remember me to get myself through this, Ash, because, otherwise, I don't think I'll be able to handle this. I love you, Luke x." ~Please read the first book first 'You Don't Hear My Cries

Ashton's life has turned upside down. He's fallen in love with his best friend, and his depression's started up again, but now it's even worse than ever. Ashton becomes really good at hiding his feelings, but is hiding them really a good decision?