Dan has given up on ever being happy. Life has lost its meaning, and everything he seems to do causes some form of destruction, and Dan is so tired of destroying the things he used to love. He's lost so much, and he's scared of losing Phil, the only thing he can bring himself to care about. But Dan can't see past his own depression that Phil is struggling with bulimia, and that he's equally good at hiding his dark thoughts as Dan. And as Dan walks through the streets alone at night getting high to escape from the hell he's trapped himself in, will he be able to see that maybe the happiness he craves so desperately is not on the streets in the form of white pills, but inside his own apartment in the form of Phil Lester? Or will it be too late... WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE, SEXUAL SITUATIONS, USE OF DRUGS, VIOLENCE, HIGH LEVELS OF ANGST, BULIMIA, AND THEMES OF SUICIDE. IT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUNGER READERS.

"i'm counting down the days to go." or in which a boy who is waiting for his life to be over may be losing to cancer, but he also saved his best friend's life and, in return, won his heart.

Dan is sick and Phil is suffering - so what the hell are they supposed to do now?

*'BEST PHANFICTION' WINNER (FANFICTION AWARDS 2018)* Daniel has anxiety and crumples paper to calm himself down. Phil has ADHD and diminishes hearts to bring himself up.

I saw a boy today. His names called Phil. I wanted to become friends with him. So I did. Enjoy <3

"'I miss you.' 'What do you mean? I'm right here.' He shook his head. 'No, I mean I miss seeing you. I miss your smile. Seeing you smile made me so happy. I'm still so upset that I'll never see it again.' I breathed in, a bit shaky. 'You've just got to remember that if I'm with you, I'm always smiling, okay?' 'I still miss seeing you. If I could have just one opportunity to be able to see again, even just for a moment, I would spend my time just watching you smile. That's all I would want....'" After a horrible accident, Phil loses his sight and goes completely blind. Dan's help has been amazing to get him through it, but Dan can't help falling in love with his best friend - now in daily need of his care and attention. This story is about love and trust, and how two friends - much more than friends - overcome the odds of a disability, and how they realize that no matter how difficult it gets, they will always have each other. (Warnings: none! :D Fluffy, a little dash of angst, looong)

Phil Lester is sweet and cute; known for his kindness and enthusiasm. Dan Howell is a tough, cold outsider; known as the school's stereotypical 'bad boy'. But if he's so bad, then why on earth did he rescue Phil Lester and give him a smile which would melt anyone's heart?