*'BEST PHANFICTION' WINNER (FANFICTION AWARDS 2018)* Daniel has anxiety and crumples paper to calm himself down. Phil has ADHD and diminishes hearts to bring himself up.

{{ part two of psychedelia }} It's been two years since Dan moved out of the apartment to go to a rehabilitation centre, and in that space of time he's heard nothing from Phil. Not even a "hello." Dan's scared that Phil's moved on and forgotten about him, and since they both stopped vlogging Dan doesn't know what's happening in Phil's life. Is he still living in London? Has he moved back to Manchester? Is he even alive? So now that Dan is finally off his medication and he's completely clean, he should be happy again, right? Sometimes, the most painful thing is when the person who you share all of your best memories with becomes a slowly fading memory, and you can't do anything except watch and scream as the past disappears, almost like it never existed in the first place. And it fucking hurts. WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE, SEXUAL SITUATIONS, MENTIONS OF DRUGS, VIOLENCE, HIGH LEVELS OF ANGST, BULIMIA, AND THEMES OF SUICIDE. IT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUNGER READERS.

Dan has given up on ever being happy. Life has lost its meaning, and everything he seems to do causes some form of destruction, and Dan is so tired of destroying the things he used to love. He's lost so much, and he's scared of losing Phil, the only thing he can bring himself to care about. But Dan can't see past his own depression that Phil is struggling with bulimia, and that he's equally good at hiding his dark thoughts as Dan. And as Dan walks through the streets alone at night getting high to escape from the hell he's trapped himself in, will he be able to see that maybe the happiness he craves so desperately is not on the streets in the form of white pills, but inside his own apartment in the form of Phil Lester? Or will it be too late... WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE, SEXUAL SITUATIONS, USE OF DRUGS, VIOLENCE, HIGH LEVELS OF ANGST, BULIMIA, AND THEMES OF SUICIDE. IT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUNGER READERS.

Phil Lester is sweet and cute; known for his kindness and enthusiasm. Dan Howell is a tough, cold outsider; known as the school's stereotypical 'bad boy'. But if he's so bad, then why on earth did he rescue Phil Lester and give him a smile which would melt anyone's heart?

the air smells like the promise of tomorrow and nothing has ever smelled more terrifying

Dan is the senior that everyone looks up to, he is charming, witty and sometimes even nice. Phil is the sophomore that is constantly being bullied for being who he his, a boy who likes boys. Roles seem to switch when Dan saves Phil's life, and finds himself falling for the younger boy. Dan is the new target for torment and beatings. But unlike Phil, Dan doesn't handle it very well, and finds himself spiraling downhill, with what seems like no way back to the top.

[COMPLETED] [MULTI SHIPPING] Join some immature, lovesick boys who struggle to not only to love themselves but those around them. A heart wrenching story revolving around some anorexics, some bulimics, and a purger, all of whom thrive to be the skinniest in the EDU. Highest rankings #4 in Tronnor #124 in Fanfiction ❤️ #1 in EDU ❤️❤️❤️ ••• Multi-shipping! (Phan, Kickthestickz, Jaspar, Tronnor, etc) TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️