The idea of Aziraphale being a Pirate Captain is so patently absurd that Crowley has no choice but to stowaway on his ship. Which is precisely how Crowley ends up in the brig of a pirate ship, manacled to an angel who is wearing a distracting amount of velvet, lace and silk stockings.

That was no way to think, just because a stupid ex-nun misinterpreted a blamelessly hostile situation. That way lay madness. That way lay an angel with disapprovingly pursed lips and pitying pale eyes and "My dear boy, I'm so *very* sorry, but..." and Armageddon would come as a relief after that, really.

Crowley finds his secret conviction that the world was designed for his personal entertainment severely tested by the bloody boring fourteenth century. But what is he a demon for, if not to spice things up a bit? It's irrelevant that a certain angel is taking his orders seriously for once and embarking on a life of self-denial and doing good. That isn't the reason Crowley is bored, at all. And he certainly isn't acting up to get Aziraphale's attention because he's desperately in love or anything.

Anathema Device and Newton Pulsifer are tying the knot! They decide to invite the angel and demon duo to join in their celebration, but there is a problem. Newt doesn't have many friends he can count on to throw him a bachelor party, so Anathema decides to help her future husband. And does so by asking the ineffable pair to plan the festivities. What could go wrong? -- "Oh, thank you so much. I was really worried. I mean asking a demon and an angel to throw a bachelor party for your spouse sounds crazy, but less so than any of his other options. Just try to keep it casual, okay?" Anathema said. "Oh, um..." Had Aziraphale heard her properly? --

"Aziraphale debated internally a bit, but curling his arm up around Crowley's shoulder really was more comfortable. He knew he was being silly. He knew a dance was nothing and if it made Crowley happy after his feelings had apparently been hurt it wasn't much to ask, but-it was the demon. He had the literally infernal talent to make even the simplest, least dubious things feel like a temptation. Aziraphale knew it was Crowley's nature, and not strictly saying his fault, but it did sometimes make things feel *complicated*." Biarritz, South of France, 1921. Aziraphale stumbles on Crowley apparently working the hotels and casinos as a gigolo. At least, that's where it begins.

A mysterious bookshop patron strikes up an unlikely friendship with Aziraphale. Crowley sees right through the stranger's charming exterior to the serpent that lies beneath. Like recognizes like. (Good Omens).

A place to store shorter Crowley/Aziraphale fiction. I totally can write things that are not all 15 chapters of slowburn long. Contains adult content. Pretty vanilla, but there is reasonably explicit content, please be aware. First story: Tudor England. Crowley tries to dress Aziraphale up appropriately to deliver temptations in the young King Henry's court. Short doublet, hose, codpiece, all that innocent stuff. Also, Crowley is a snake at least some of the time. PWP Second story: a sad story with a happy end, in emoticons

Good Omens. Crowley and Aziraphale pose as husbands for a house party, because Aziraphale is bad at saying no (to anyone but Crowley and anyone trying to buy books). Crowley thinks this is a good chance to prove himself the perfect potential demon husband to a fussy angel. But things get complicated fast. Really complicated. A lot of pining, a lot of shopping and restaurants and party games, some near misses, but no sex until chapter 24 (and all of 25).

"Oh. Yeah." Crowley shuffled his feet, looking surprisingly boyish. "Come to New York with me tomorrow?" Aziraphale blinked. "Why?" "To see how Warlock is doing," Crowley said, as if that was obvious. "Warlock?" He blinked again, and Crowley looked annoyed. Unfortunately what came out of his mouth was, "You were the one who suggested killing the boy." "It wasn't personal." Crowley took off his dark glasses, apparently the better to glare at him. "He's still our kid." "B-but, Crowley, he's not our kid," Aziraphale said helplessly, wondering if Crowley was going insane or if he was. "You're a terrible father for an angel," Crowley said, accusingly. "I'm a demon, and I make a far better mother." --- Aziraphale is almost certain that Crowley is only being perverse. But demons are unaccountable creatures, and Aziraphale finds himself flying to New York with him anyway.

Aziraphale would forgive him, of course. He always did. That had always been the Hell of it. It had been stupid to think things would be any different this time. It was a game they had been playing a long, long time, and he was all kinds of fool and idiot if he was going to suddenly start taking it seriously, even if only a few days ago he had thought Aziraphale was dead. Our side. It would be nice, really nice, if there was an *our side.* To be honest with himself, there was nothing in all the universe he wanted more. "I'll pick you up at eight," he repeated to the closed door, and headed back to the flat to take it out on the plants.