help wanted: looking for someone patient and skilled to teach me to play soccer. must know rules, techniques, and have knowledge of history of sport. needs to know how to play within a month or two. compensation is no problem, and can be discussed. number 768-4386. WARNINGS: - cannot kick balls - very uncoordinated - hopelessly bad at team sports - out of shape - doesn't know shit about soccer - may fall in love.

[Finalist in Watty Awards 2013) He Wasn't a Jerk #2 ⁑⁑ Disclaimer: Probably a lot of grammar issues, along with plot holes and annoying characters. This was written when I was thirteen. Continue at your own discretion) ⁑⁑ You know the story on how One Direction formed, how they got 3rd place on X Factor and how they went on to become a worldwide sensation - right? Victoria Green is now nineteen, working at a local ice cream shop and wallowing in her sorrows. With Louis gone out of her life, Victoria has no other choice than to move on from her first and possibly her only love. A life filled with interviews, paparazzi, drama, heartbreaks, new romances and new places; Victoria has only one thing that's keeping her from destroying herself - Louis. A fake account that Victoria created on AIM turns from a joke to a semi-rekindled online romance with Louis. Has Victoria made the biggest mistake of her life, or will she get her happily ever after she's been searching for with Louis? He Wasn't a Jerk Series: #1: He Wasn't a Jerk Online #2: He Wasn't a Jerk Before #3: He Wasn't a Jerk After All #4: He Wasn't a Jerk In The End