I'm pretty extraordinary (read: absolutely normal) for an average guy named Patrick- Patrick Kraker, and before you ask, no, I do not want a cracker; neither does Polly. Polly's sick of crackers. a) My summer job may or may not involve spray painting myself completely silver and standing motionless in the park. Of course not. b) I also may or may not be investigating and communicating with a homeless guy who is (possibly): one, not actually homeless and two, part of a cult of (probably) bloodthirsty satanic worshippers. *** Copyright © 2015 by unfurled All rights reserved #34 Humour Featured as of 28/04/16

Mathis is a huge superhero fan. Batman. Superman. Aquaman. You name it... But his world is different from others, if he likes you your named a hero, if for some reason you get on his bad side your his least favorite villain. You can say he's weird, but your probably just jealous of his card collection. You can say his phobia of floors is stupid, but he'd just blame it on his brothers. You can say he's gay, and he won't answer. Why? Because he has no idea who/what he likes. Until he mets Jason, Captain of the volleyball team, but Mathis isn't quite sure he likes him in 'that' way even if his friends push him forward there's no way of him being gay? Or has Mathis finally met his Batman.

Price Bigg + Jeremy Smalle = Best Friends. If Price Bigg x Googly Eyes at his best friend = ALWAYS and Jeremy Smalle + Basic Comprehension Skills = Syntax Error, solve the following problem: Price Bigg can't quite solve his goofy best friend, Jeremy Smalle, amateur high school swimmer and professional alien conspiracy theorist. He devices the equation A+B=4(x) to try and solve him, but he can't quite complete, or solve it. Jeremy thinks he may have made another mistake by suggesting that his newly out friend take Jeremy on a date. Everything's coolio and majorly fabuloso at first. But then the hand holding and the constant math jokes and the standing so close to each other start to make him think he's the biggest idiot ever. He can't quite tell why he feels so strange about them. He expresses this feeling with the equation fu=x. Task: Solve for X. Round your answer to the nearest heartbeat.