What do you get when you put a vicar, a stripper, a lazy high-school graduate and an ex-nun in a minibus together and send them off in search of Aspen Willinger? Chaos, that's what. (cover by @erupted)

❝I- what? What are you talking about? Who is this?❞ ❝Well the bathroom stall says that this number is the gateway to a good time, and unless you're trying to say that a bathroom stall is lying to me, I think I need a little more information to be sold. Do you have like a yelp page I could look up? Past customer reviews? How many stars out of five?❞ ❝What are yo- oh my god, I'm going to fucking kill Marie.❞ (alternatively called: a lot of people shit with pens) written in dialogue // cover by xhemmingshugsx

A fear of flying is one thing. Being seated next to a Tetris-addict who claims to be the Reaper is quite another. "He pulled out a business card. Where his profession should have been stated, the card read 'Destroyer of Worlds'. Nodding slowly, I pocketed the card." [check out the new spin off: http://www.wattpad.com/story/19632442-reaper-man] Copyright S.Ranasinghe 2013 HG Wells Short Story Competition [shortlisted]

"If you don't push the damn car, I am kicking you off the squad." "Alright, alright." "Since when did we call ourselves 'squad'?" • • • in which four unusual friends embark on an escape from their worries and troubles in cedric's mom's old minivan (named gertrude) including renditions of beyonce, quoting the genie from Aladdin, encountering flat tires, playing the plate number game, being chased by moms, all starting from a car wash. 14.09.14 adventure #92 14.09.14 short story #244

[ This story was written in less than 30 Days - Winner of November NaNoWriMo project ] Delilah Rose (the actual Devil from actual Hell) sucks at keeping relationships afloat. In desperate attempt to win the heart back of Ryland Woods, a moody, teenage boy from Earth who dumped her ugly persona in the first place, the Devil forms into a seventeen-year-old girl and crashes back to his planet in hope to make him fall in love with her one more time--but for a greater reason than lust. Try measuring the stakes on a universe-saving scale. A comedy where a spirit, hell-ish world meets teenage angst and first world problems. cover by @naramatilda +++ Don't be afraid of us: the Boys of the Dark. We own hearts that starve in the shadows, and soak in the filth of our past. We wear hollowed boned smiles and burn everything to make the warmth last. Ever since you left, its always cold in the dark.

❝Hello, this is the Starb-❞ ❝HEEELP ME!! PLEASE! THERE'S A MURDERER IN MY HOUSE!❞ ❝OH SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!! WHAT DO I DO?! THIS IS STARBUCKS, NOT FREAKING 911. WAIT, HOLD ON. TRY TO KEEP YOURSELF ALIVE, I'LL CALL 911!! STAY CALM. IT'S GOING TO BE O- ❞ ❝Wait...did you just say Starbucks?❞ ❝Um...yeah?❞ ❝They have a hotline?❞ ---- fun conversations between two Potterheads over the Starbucks hotline. [highest rank: #6 in short story] [highest rank: #2 in short story 5/6/17]

Who knew what could be made out of annoying calls, anonymous texts, and a little bit of chemistry? -highest rank #8 in short story -contains some mature content -completed but unedtited