Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!

NOW PUBLISHED BY SOURCEBOOKS FIRE! Sixteen-year-old Jackie Howard knows nothing about her new guardian Katherine Walter when she moves from New York to Colorado. After discovering that Katherine has twelve boys, Jackie fears that living in the Walter house isn't going to be easy. It's just icing on the cake that the boys look like models... Cover design by pizzazz-

Chloe Manson is a successful interior designer. Never mind the fact that her mum keeps setting up blind dates with the wrong guys, her life is otherwise quite normal and peaceful. She has a steady job, good friends and a pretty grotty apartment. What more can she ask? That is, until a new sexy stranger takes over as the boss of the company where she works at. He's irritating, obnoxious and infuriating. So why does she keep stealing glimpses into his office? Ed Hardy is determined to prove to his father that he is capable of managing a business as well as his perfect brother whom he can never measure up to. Originally anticipating that the working hours would be long and boring, he didn't expect to meet a lovely woman whom he can't seem to take his eyes off. Calling her into his office on the pretext of giving her work, he can't seem to reach into her heart. He knows that in his eyes, he's a bad boy through and through. So why doesn't he seem to be able to forget her like the numerous other women before?

Hudson Ellis is good at his job. Somehow, he manages not to annoy people when he knocks at their doors and asks them to contribute to the charity he works for - instead, he gets them to sign up for sponsoring programmes and fish whatever spare change they have out of their pockets. Even the infamously tough residents of New York City are falling victim to Hudson's easy-going ways and wide smile; that is, until one woman renders him speechless with sarcastic refusals and slams her door in his face. Perhaps Hudson would be able to forget her - if it wasn't for the fact that she lives on the same floor of the next apartment over, and they both have floor-to-ceiling windows that allow for a rather generous view into each other's flats.

With his pride and her prejudice, what could possibly go wrong? When the arrogant Blake Hansen steals Addie Preston's promotion at the library, he pretty much rubs her nose in it. But Addie, who dreams of being a full-fledged librarian, decides to stick it out. She loves surrounding herself with books and keeping her father's memory alive in the building where they spent so much time together. Soon, Addie learns that her beloved library will be torn down to make room for a larger facility, and she has to make a choice. Fight, or let go? To complicate things, she finds herself attracted to Blake, who is engaged to someone else. Will Blake and Addie ever resolve their differences? This is a modern retelling of Pride and Prejudice, with hints of the other Jane Austen books as well.

Jordana Kane is your typical 15-year-old sophomore who’s moving through high school as a part of the in-crowd. One Friday night, her friends make plans to go to the movies, and Jordana’s decision to go with them or not will alter her life forever. If she decides to stay home, she finds herself witnessing a crime happening next door and decides to put on her detectives hat and launch her own investigation. When she chooses to go to the movies, but leaves early, Jordana meets a mystery traveler who wiggles his way into her family’s home and her heart, before she discovers that he’s actually a famous movie star. Choosing to head to her local diner causes Jordana to meet a bad-boy musician who sweeps her into his world of rock and fame, which ends in a record deal and booze-filled parties. And if she stays through the movie, she’ll end up the star of a student film, finding herself acting alongside her number one crush. Which decision is the right one and what will seal her fate forever? You'll have to read to find out!

Lucy is a normal girl, living in a small country town, who never figured that the guy she met was famous. Yes, she broke into his room to sit quietly, and read but she never knew that the perfect guy, one Ash Martin that she met that night could change her life forever. The only problem is he's keeping his big secret to himself. When she does find out all she can wonder is will their relationship survive his fame? With his introduction into her life, it brings back someone that Lucy had never hoped to see again. Maybe his fame wasn't the only problem in their burgeoning relationship.

They met on a vacation in Hawaii. She was there to try and heal her broken heart while he was trying to escape his fame. For four days they played the happy tourist couple. Only on her last night there did she succumb to his charms. Brianna Morgan was known best in her town for dumping the towns most eligible bachelor when she found him cheating on her. Now she was stuck in the middle of planning her crazy best friends wedding. Two weeks before the wedding her reluctance to be involved became a stern no when she first spied the best man. Chase Montgomery was so over being the most talked about man for his action movies. If he never made another movie again he would be happy. He needed something real. Something like the four days with that beautiful woman in Hawaii. The first woman to ever say no to him and the steamiest night of his life. She was gone in the morning and he never saw her again. Idle thoughts of her became no more when he realised she was the Maid of Honour at his best mates wedding. Now all he had to do was convince her that their time spent vacationing together was enough to prove they were destined to be together.

It was pity that first made Dannie speak to him. She had known Ryan since she was a kid, but he had always been the popular Golden Boy, and she had always been the tomboy that didn’t mind not having any friends. It was odd, she had thought, that all the popular kids who had once kissed the ground he walked on, didn’t so much spared him a glance anymore, and it was this that made her sit with him that one faithful day and begin something that would only end up causing her pain.

Arielle Sawyer is freaking out because she’s the last person in her class to be kissed. Frustrated by her kissably-challenged lifestyle, Arielle allows herself to be talked into selling her first kiss to the highest bidder—on eBay. The media soon catches wind of her story and all of a sudden she’s giving interviews and appearing on popular late-night talk shows. Due to her newfound fame, the former wallflower suddenly finds herself the focus of everyone’s attention, including that of the most popular guy at school, an actor who just happens to be the teen heartthrob of the moment and even the local bad boy. But as her popularity grows and her friendships begin to weaken, Arielle starts to wonder why she put up the post in the first place. In the end there will be a winner, but will Arielle’s first kiss end up being everything she’s ever dreamed of?