Four bad boys, Ayden, Hayden, Brayden, and Okayden, try to form a school club to learn how to fight their bad boy instincts, or succumb to cliches trying. ******* When Ayden's six-pack appeared when he was nine, he realized that he was born to be a bad boy. Far for embracing it, he has dedicated his whole life to avoid every cliche in the book, from girls with mysterious pasts stumbling into him in the hallways, to always changing schools to be the "mysterious new kid," to ancient beings asking him to be a chosen one every other day. But a fated encounter with the captain of the football team makes him realized that he is not the only one cursed with being a bad boy. There are others like him. Alone, they are weak. Together, they are strong. Sort of. With the mission to finding others cursed with being bad boys, Ayden and his new friends will work together to make a school club where they can help each other avoid the trappings of cliche and finish the school year unscathed. That is, if they can convince the student council president to let them form the club in the first place. [SEASON 1 COMPLETED] [SEASON 2 COMPLETED] [SEASON 3 COMPLETED] Cover by @Feralshadow

*****WATTYS 2015 WINNER!***** WATTPAD STAFF PICK (9/7/15) In the end, the robots win. But you already knew that. "Everyone Died + My iPhone Stopped Working" is a collection of short interviews with some of the survivors. People who have tremendous insight into the rise of Artificially Intelligent machines or, more often, don't. Why did the robots rise up? What did they want? Why couldn't they be stopped? Can they be stopped now? Is humanity doomed? And what the f--k is going on with the squirrels? You will get the answers to all of these questions. Or some of these questions. Or none of these questions. We'll see. I will be updating this once a week until I run out of stuff that I find funny. Then I'm done. Cover art courtesy of the hilarious and ridiculously talented Dave Pressler. (http://www.davepresslerart.com)

❝I- what? What are you talking about? Who is this?❞ ❝Well the bathroom stall says that this number is the gateway to a good time, and unless you're trying to say that a bathroom stall is lying to me, I think I need a little more information to be sold. Do you have like a yelp page I could look up? Past customer reviews? How many stars out of five?❞ ❝What are yo- oh my god, I'm going to fucking kill Marie.❞ (alternatively called: a lot of people shit with pens) written in dialogue // cover by xhemmingshugsx

WATTPAD ORIGINAL EDITION Seven letters, seven confessions, seven clues. Elliot Parker has what he needs to find out who killed his best friend... But is he hunting down the killer? Or is the killer hunting him? ***** When Colton Crest returns, unharmed, to his small town after mysteriously disappearing for two months, his best friend Elliot Parker breathes a sigh of relief. But days later, on the night before graduation, Elliot finds Colton in the lake. Dead. And on the day of his funeral, Elliot finds a letter in his jacket pocket with four words that send him spiralling: I killed Colton Crest. There are six more letters to find, six more confessions about Colton, six more clues to uncover why he was murdered. Elliot has no choice but to play this sick scavenger hunt, and with each new revelation, he begins to question whether he really knew Colton - or anyone else in that little town of dark secrets. [[word count: 100,000-150,000 words]]

You little shit, you've been kidnapped

Diagnosed with a terminal illness, Peter Katz hires a hitman to take him out. But when a cure is discovered, Peter's got to outrun the assassin to stay alive! ***** When douchebag lawyer Peter Katz gets diagnosed with terminal cancer, he wants to die painlessly. Still, death seems to elude his every attempt, so he hires an assassin to kill him at a random time and place within the month. Unfortunately for Peter, right after he orders the hit, a treatment is discovered that would add decades to his life. Now Peter Katz has to start running, until the month-long deadline ends. Desperate to survive, he has to deal with tall-dwarves, unionized suicide workers, art terrorism and all the insanity that being alive has to offer. Will he make it to the end of the month? Or will Peter Katz live a life's worth of craziness in however many days he has left? For what is Comedy, but Tragedy + Time? [[word count: 100,000-150,000 words]]

The real you is the monster inside you.