Elements: A Series

This is a spoken word I wrote like 5 minus ago and idk if it's any good but I guess we'll see!

Condiments

In which a Subway worker teaches her customer the real reason why people use condiments

Once Upon a Bathroom Stall

❝I- what? What are you talking about? Who is this?❞ ❝Well the bathroom stall says that this number is the gateway to a good time, and unless you're trying to say that a bathroom stall is lying to me, I think I need a little more information to be sold. Do you have like a yelp page I could look up? Past customer review...

Burgers

in which a boy orders burgers and a girl serves him. book three in the foodie series ☀ lowercase intended ☀

Silver Lotus

in which a girl orders chinese food from another girl and eats it. book two in the foodie series ♀lowercase intended♀

Waffles

in which a boy delivers waffles and a girl eats them. book one in the foodie series ✿lowercase intended✿

stolen number |✓ book one of stolen series

❝hey, sweet cheeks❞ ❝do i know you?❞ ❝damn, i'm offended after all we have been through❞ ❝wrong number?❞ ❝try stolen number, babe❞ in which a boy steals a girl's number from his friends phone. ________________________________ highest ranking: #eleven in short story lowercase intended

anonymous

anonymous: why you gotta be so rude? alex-burke: no (c) c-araphernelia 2014 !! lowercase intended !! **pls no hate bc i wrote this a long time ago and i hate myself **

Waffle Cones (#1)

"Hello?" "Um, hey?" "Wait, you don't sound like my Aunt Kathy." "Unless I was miraculously converted into a member of the opposite gender and somehow related to whoever is on the other side of this call, then yeah. I'm not your Aunt Kathy." "Oh, shiitake mushrooms." ...

Batman Or Superman

"Hello this is Taco King how can I help you?" "Batman or Superman?!" "What?" "Batman or Superman?" "Superman" "You're dead to me" Highest rank: #29 in Short Story #10 dialogue

Loveseat Nights

Yesterday, Mona Lieber saw something she shouldn't have. Now she's got an ignorant boy wrapped around her finger, teaching him a lesson about the arts of entertainment. Today, Adrien Finkwell is suffering through 28 nights of classic movies. If he doesn't, one very snarky girl will spill a dark secret of his. They b...

Truly

May Fredericks hates New York. Which is fair enough, since New York seems to hate her back. Just weeks after moving from Wisconsin to Manhattan, she receives the world's worst marriage proposal, stabs her boyfriend with a shrimp fork in a very public venue, and accidentally becomes notorious. And that’s before she get...

Ten Reasons Not To Die

"Give me ten days, and I can give you ten reasons not to die." Evan paused. "And if I can't change your mind by then, you can go jump off that cliff."