PERSONAL ASSISTANT NEEDED. People skills optional. Ability to take drink orders preferred. Personal mode of transport a MUST. To Reply, Contact Dr. M's home office: 1-555-TRBLE-4-U (Idiots and those prone to knock-knock jokes need not apply.) ◎ ◎ ◎ Nobody in their right mind would respond to a help wanted listing so vague. Enter, Robin Banks. The wacky exploits of a narcoleptic super villain and his reluctant sidekick. [COMPLETED FIRST DRAFT - #22 in Humor on 4/12/15]

Hudson Ellis is good at his job. Somehow, he manages not to annoy people when he knocks at their doors and asks them to contribute to the charity he works for - instead, he gets them to sign up for sponsoring programmes and fish whatever spare change they have out of their pockets. Even the infamously tough residents of New York City are falling victim to Hudson's easy-going ways and wide smile; that is, until one woman renders him speechless with sarcastic refusals and slams her door in his face. Perhaps Hudson would be able to forget her - if it wasn't for the fact that she lives on the same floor of the next apartment over, and they both have floor-to-ceiling windows that allow for a rather generous view into each other's flats.

Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!

I'm not a monster, I'm a cowboy...

[BEING PUBLISHED -- sample and more info inside] One girl. One camp for delinquents. One hell of a summer. Falice Winters has always been the goody-two shoes. Her twin Arabelle . . . not so much. So what happens when their dad plans to ship Arabelle off to a camp to clean up her act? Well, naturally, Arabelle would find a way out. Her solution? Falice! It was a simple plan: Falice would pretend to be Arabelle and go to the delinquent camp while Arabelle got to have the time of her life with her boyfriend in London. Falice thought her summer was going to consist of sitting on the couch reading novels all day or hanging out with her friends. Never did it cross her mind that she would be pretending to be her sister in a camp of delinquents. But now she's stuck at a camp all summer where being rude is the new "in." And everything turns for the worse when someone figures out her secret. Will Falice survive the summer? Or will everyone learn that she's faking delinquency?

A BUNCH OF STUFF ELIZABETH ("please for the love of god call me El") THROPP DOESN'T EXPECT: 1. Her mom signing her up to be a counselor at her old summer camp ("I don't care if it's for extra credit, mom!"). 2. That children are this annoying ("no, you can't have another stupid cookie"). 3. Sharing a cabin with Grace Upland ("who's like, a total bitch"). 4. (Sure as hell) that she really doesn't mind it ("like, at all"). 5. Something else, but that's for later. [6. this story to be riddled with typos. seriously. it's blinding. read at ur own risk]

Nobody knew where Jack came from. Nobody knew when he’d ever leave. From the moment he arrived at Saint Dymphna Asylum, Jack hadn’t uttered a word. He stayed voiceless and lost in his own world. Most figured that his past was terrible. Some guessed that he went to hell, but never came back. Suddenly, on a rainy day in October, Jack opens his mouth. And the truth is frightening. WARNING: This book contains evidence of homosexuality and use of foul language. Read at your own risk. Cover credit: Photo by Noil Klune (www.noilklune.com) Design by: simba-aa Trailer credit: Trailer made by me.

One summer, five kids: a fragile dreamer, a moody pessimist, an aggressive feminist, a closet homosexual, and a modern-day aristocrat. © crewneck sept. 24, 2014 - adventure #120 nov. 30, 2014 - teen fiction #334

"Anna dislikes being stuck three-quarters of the way down a chimney. She really does. Not to mention, she's still going round North America, and there's, like, three continents still to get through in about as many hours."