Banks will be hacked. Hearts will be broken. Watty Winner in the Best New Voices category! I TOLD YOU, ELI OXLEY is a novel about guilt, money, hacking, temptation and family secrets. Set in Chattanooga, Tennessee, the story follows would-be nomad Eli, a brilliant hacker doomed to live at home and attend Crockett State University. Eli has never used his hacking skills for illegal purposes, but when he becomes suspicious of his father's money problems, he decides to act, threatening the principles he once held dear, endangering himself, his family and his love, Allison. Eli, though knowledgable with computers, is ill-informed in every other aspect of his life: he's socially awkward, emotionally inept and sexually inexperienced. Maybe that's why he can't seem to get out of the friend zone with Allison. But will he even need to when the hot, physically forward blonde, Kara is coming on to him? Or what about when Al finally reciprocates his feelings? Then there's the intriguing hacker fraternity he joins who may or may not be acting in Eli's best interest. And to top it all off, a family secret he can't ignore that goes deeper than just missing money. Eli struggles with his feelings for the two girls while retracing his dad's digital footprints, digging for both answers and money. Will Eli get caught hacking his local bank? Will he get caught cheating on Al? In the end, escaping Chattanooga might be the least of his problems.

This is a first draft of the sequel to 'Eliza Twitchel and The Haunted Forest'. I have a general sense of the plot but as I write the story, characters and situations will grow and change. This book starts two months after Eliza rescued her sister, Phoebe, from the evil witches in the Haunted Forest. Safe at home, Eliza wants to forget all about the world of Aldaen and get back to a normal life. Problem is--part of the witch Ophelia now lives inside the green heartstone embedded in the bracelet Eliza wears; and she has plans for Eliza.

When Eliza Twitchel's little sister is kidnapped by gobblings and whisked through a magic gateway hidden in an old growth forest, she sets out on a rescue mission, ill-prepared for the dangers lurking in a world where witches and ogres are real and life is anything but a fairytale.

Some jokes I read, I loved and put them here! Enjoy! Disclaimer: I own nothing

Feel the six pack coming! **don't read this if you're under 13**