Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!

WATTPAD FEATURED STORY Daniel Evans is trying not to let his crush on Jonah Clarke get in the way of their new found friendship, because Jonah Clarke is definitely not gay. Placed third in the Valentine's Day Contest hosted by @taygetsthegay

Weapons choose special humans. One ranged weapon and one melee for each person. These people become known as the weapon-bonded. Groups are formed of such people to do good or bad, deciding on how they use their power. Oppressed by humans, they must take their freedom or earn it. Kyle, one of the most powerful weapon-bonded, must earn his race a good name whilst letting go of his past. Him and his friend Mojo take on their most challenging tasks whilst discovering their powers.

"Hello?" "Um, hey?" "Wait, you don't sound like my Aunt Kathy." "Unless I was miraculously converted into a member of the opposite gender and somehow related to whoever is on the other side of this call, then yeah. I'm not your Aunt Kathy." "Oh, shiitake mushrooms." - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Short Story #1 (19/04/18) 2016 Fiction Awards Finalist © 2015 evethespy. All Rights Reserved.

❝i've seen you around here a lot.❞ ❝i know this is the best starbucks around.❞ ❝aren't all starbucks the same?❞ ❝no other starbucks has a girl like you.❞ -- just a pinch of love #3 -- #118 in Humor (3.12.15)

"You have to learn to live, kid, not just survive."

*Completed* "I just want to know why." I say as I turn over, trying to find his figure through the dark of my room. "Why what?" He asks. "Why you're being so nice to me." I say quietly, vulnerability seeping into my words. "How we even became friends." He sighs, "I want to know how." I scrunch my brow. "How what?" His response is soft, the opposite of his sarcastic personality. "How you don't see it." ******* Reagan Holt was about as average as a high school student could be. She didn't play any sports, didn't participate in the popular activities, and wasn't the girl all the boys chased after. All except one boy. He wrote her a letter every week. Each letter described something new for him to love about her. Whether it was how beautiful her laugh was or how his heart swelled with every smile she gave, he never failed to write how he felt. So the two should be together, right? That's the way Reagan wants it, but there's just one problem. He signs his letters "Love, Anonymous." Now add an obnoxious, conceited, sex god into the equation and you get a teenage girl confused on who really loves her. The sweet, tender written anonymous lover, or the cocky, ignorant asshole? -REVIEWS- "You create such wonderful characters and I can't wait to see what happens next!" VampireSa5m41993 "Thank you for wonderful dogs and little brothers and eccentrically hormonal best friends!" -Nat-Attack "I am totally hooked on this book!" nbazinet "I love the way the story flows and that you have really roundabout characters. It's as if they're real while I'm reading!" life_is_beautiful115 "Your work is literally art." lemonsun123 "Every time I read this book it just makes me smile." Nicooole97 Cover by: -winterr

"Help me," a frightened voice whispered. "STOP CALLING, especially at 2AM! It was fun but nothing special, a o-n-e n-i-g-h-t s-t-a-n-d." "Wait, what happened last night?" The boy stifled a laugh, through tears. "Superman lost his spandex's-wait who is this?" "Batman." - A boy made it his mission in grade eleven to add everyone in his grade as contacts. They all had a emoji for their contact name, unless they held significants to him. e.g: :) = 04 982 562 789 Now, two years into college, life is killing him. Literally. So he calls someone in his contact list, not knowing who, just asking for help because he was holding a bottle full of sleeping pills. He was the top jock, quarter back on the football team. Now he's no one.

**WINNER of The People's Choice Watty Award** Finn Harlow met his soulmate in kindergarten, but fate wasn't kind and she ended up marring his best friend. After years of watching in silent agony, he's certain he's met a girl who can finally mend his broken heart--until he finds her in the arms of her lover. In walks Holden Drake; dark, mysterious, and dripping in confidence. All the things Finn wishes he was. He promises to turn Finn into a modern-day Casanova and offers a guarantee that no woman will leave Finn again. But something about Holden doesn't seem right and the deeper Finn pries, the more he stumbles into a world of sex and scandal, leaving him forced to decide if he will risk it all to chase his first love, or succumb to the invitation and join Holden's club.

*SEQUEL to The Bad Boy's Girl' and cannot be read as a stand-alone. Tessa O'Connell is a girl as in love as possible. Her goal for her freshman year of college is live wholly and love deeply, a task made easy by the spectacular man whose name reminds her of ice-cream and who supplies her endlessly with Kit- Kats. But with the couple in college, it becomes apparent that her boyfriend has the ability to charm the pants off of everything with a pulse. When status quo, clingy college girls, old insecurities and her slightly neurotic tendencies cause Tessa to question whether she can actually make the relationship work, it's up to Cole to show her that he's never letting go. Bu even for Cole Grayson Stone it's not easy to convince his Shortcake of never ending devotion as time apart, communication problems and a quirky new group of friends start to unravel the delicate thread that binds the two together. Can the boy who once protected her from the world protect Tessa from herself? Warning: Despite great efforts Cole Stone has still not been located on eBay, if you happen to come across him please let the Shortcakes know!